random

A picture tells a thousand stories, a vision tells a story, a magnificent one that will direct a man's path forever.

How?

Just watched a video clip sent by my friend about this man who scavenge food from a restaurant for his family and friends.

Life is tough, that's all I can say.
I honestly belief the video will move many hearts, but it won't last long.

Life is truly tough, thanks to sin that entered the world. There's really nothing much we can do about it. But I believe if each and every one of us live our life according to God's way, we can make a bigger impact. When we put into practice God's greatest commandment of all, this world will surely be a much better place to live, and that is, love your God with all your body, spirit and soul, and love your neighbour as you love yourself.

Here's the vid-clip:
http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte/TVE9PStP

late night thoughts

Been wanting to write down things in my heart and mind. Alright, better be quick as I'm getting so sleepy.

1. Just got home 30mins ago, few minutes before 12am (or 00.00). So tired. Came back from secret santa gathering at a friend's place in Sunnybank Hills. I love this group of people, they're not christian but they're pretty genuine. I cherish the friendship I have with them. I will always pray for them, pray for God's covering, protection and for Him to reveal to them who HE is.

2. Been thinking a bit about my group in the past few days. Ah... I thank God for this year. It's true when they say that the days ahead of us is better than the days behind us. I thought 2008 was awesome with Joseph 2, now I say 2009 is even better. And I can even say that 2010 will be even better than 2009. I got a feeling it'll be more challenging but it sure will be much better.

3. While with my friends at secret santa tonight, I got few ideas on what to do during the year with the working group in my church. Will definitely share it with my pastor and leaders.

4. I'm currently praying about something. Can't really share it now, but I really need His wisdom to discern. Will share more later.

5. I miss mum and dad, bros and sis in indonesia and all my friends in indonesia and other parts of the world. Merry Christmas to you all. You can't believe how much I miss you.

OK, I'm going to bed, it's 12.46am. good night. :)

Counting down

YES, I'm so counting down to many things. I'm counting down to:
1. Joseph 3 Christmas Tree Party. Wed, 23-12-09
2. Christmas Dinner with Shepherd and family. Thu, 24-12-09
4. Christmas Service at BCC. Fri, 25-12-09 (no plan for dinner yet, LOL)
5. Shopping in Harbor Town, GC. Sat, 26-12-09 (no plan for dinner yet, LOL)
6. Sunday Celebration Service. Sun, 27-12-09 (dinner with LG)
7. A friend's Bday Beach Party in GC. Mon, 28-12-09 (no plan for dinner yet, LOL)
8. Catching up with a long lost friend in day time. Dinner with Adrian and Sukian. Tue, 29-12-09
9. FREE. My me time. Sleep in, QT, breakkie, jogging, shopping in city, lunch in city, then arvo nap, then dinner, then sleep. No appointment please? :)
10. SPECIAL DAY. The day the LORD created me years ago. So it's my me time with God. God and me together. You wanna join? please take a number, Jesus is number 1, not sure what your number is. <3
11. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010

An intimate moment

I don't know how to describe this, but as I was just pondering upon my life while listening to Kari Job's song 'We Cry Out', I couldn't help but kneeling down before Him, asking for His grace and mercy to be upon me. I turned my back on him so many times, walked away from him even when he asked me to stay, rebelling against him when I did my own things.

Oh God, I rely on your grace to live this life. Noone can satisfy me but you. I love you Dad, stay with me please?

Not happy

I can't make everyone happy, it's as simple and as frustrating as that. ah... there's so much I need to learn. Learning to say no with full confidence is one very challenging thing to do.

Sometimes it's so hard to choose who you should be spending time with. ah... why is it so hard to build a friendship. Is it just me?

All I want is just to help people grow in their life, especially spiritually. But I can't be there all the time with them.

ahahaa...

Yes, I'm laughing with pain in my heart.

Man, I just spent $388 for car service today. Ridiculously expensive. This month, I'm really gonna be bankrupt. Still got OC related expenses and CPA membership fees for next year due end of this month. ahahhaa....

I think I'm going crazy. I better go to sleep now. good nite.

A fallen society

If you were listening to 96.5fm tonight, you most likely would be as shocked as I am right now.

Driving back home from dinner (after church), I heard this discussion about the flaws of many research done to support gay/lesbian marriage or adoption of children by gay/lesbian couple. Apparently all, I say again, all research done till this date have never met the international standard to be recognised as a valid research simply because the samples taken for the research were far too small to represent the whole community of both homosexual and heterosexual. The sad thing is that, not enough research is done to show the struggle that many homosexual face, especially the mental and emotional side of them.

What more disgusting is that the guest speaker herself (whose parents are homosexual) received a disturbing advise from a professional health practitioner where she was asked to prove herself if she's gay or not by committing into sexual act with both same and different gender, because it's the ultimate way to know if she's gay or not. So she's saying that many health practitioner themselves don't even know how to deal with homosexual issue.

96.5fm had the discussion tonight on its program because apparently the QLD government is about to pass a bill where homosexual couple will be allowed to adopt children through means of surrogacy.

ah... we're truly living in a fallen society.

A day ahead

This morning, as usual I woke up pretty early at 5.30am. Took my shirt (for work) from the wardrobe to be ironed and walked out of my room. Turned on the power for the iron then walked to the kitchen to boil the water (I like to drink hot water in the morning and at night).

Somehow I felt something is different. So I walked back into my room and asked my roommate, "Joseph, today is Sunday right?" Opening his eyes a little bit, he replied, "Huh?". After I repeat my questions he then said, "Yes, why?" So I told him that I thought it's Monday. My replied woke up him up. He just cracked up, then a minute later he went back to sleep.

ah... my brain was a day ahead. what's wrong with me.

I exalt Thee

Teach me O Lord, to exalt you all the time.

1 very interesting day

OK, here it is.

This morning I woke up at 4.30am, yes... it's 4.30am, dunno why but I can remember I felt the tugging from HS to get up and pray. Being the lazy me, I ignored Him and went back to sleep and wake up again at 5.30am, then got up at 5.45am, said a quick prayer, ironed my clothes then took shower.

Looked at the clock showing 6.38am and thought to myself, "hmm... I still have time for breakfast." So I had shin-ramyun (korean noodles) for breakfast. But after I washed my dishes, I realised it's already 7.14am. So I rushed down to the garage and off I went. I prayed to God asking Him not to give me a heavy traffic.

Lo and behold, there's almost no traffic at all. I was like "wow...". I drove peacefully n not speeding at all. Then near my office, somebody just cut my lane and I drove next to him and gave him my angry face full of hatred (for cutting my lane), without even looking at the traffic in front of me. Then all of a sudden, bang... My heart almost popped out. I was like, "Oh God... no. I shouldn't have looked at that stupid guy who cut my lane." (yeah, I managed to curse that guy calling him stupid in my heart. This is one area I'm still trying to overcome)

I got out of the car expecting my bumper gone and did a huge damage to the car in front of me. The guy came out of the car looking pretty calm and just wanting to quickly get it done and over with.

Then, I was like "HAH???" yes, HAH. I was speechless. No scratch, no dent, no damage what so ever. The guy calmly said (with a smile) "Wow, there's nothing. OK." I quickly apologised to him and went back to my car. He drove off.

Stunt, I quickly prayed to God repenting for my bad attitude (giving the guy who cut my lane such angry face full of hatred n calling him stupid in my heart). Got to my office 5mins late. Went to bathroom to freshen up with cold water, then realised I didn't shave properly. I was like,"Oh man.." Then I said to myself, "Oh well, who cares I didn't shave properly. It won't affect my day. God has protected me in the accident earlier, so why should I feel bad looking at my face not shaved properly."

I came out of the toilet smiling. Worked through all my reports and managed to finish most of it. ah... such an interesting day.

Btw, how are you?

It's about ur future

Had an interesting conversation with a friend at church conference last wk. Something I said to her really blew me away.

It's not about our past, it's about our future.
It's not about what we've done, but it's about what we can achieve.

And what I mean by 'it' is having Jesus in our life as our Lord and Savior. In Him and with Him, nothing is impossible. We will be able to live our life to the fullest according to the purpose He has given us. We will be able to function according to what He has designed us to be.

Our future will be so much better with Him, and we will achieve so much more when we have Him as our Lord and Savior.

Don't look at how much further you have to go, look how far you've gone, then you'll realise that you can go so much further then you could imagine. And it's all because we have Jesus in us.

Just wanna be in His presence

I went to church corp prayer meeting tonight. ah.. it was so wonderful. I hate being away from Him, I love being in His presence, it's indescribable. I don't want it to stop. I just want to continue worshipping Him. When I'm not in His presence, I will sin, I will rely on my own strength and understanding, I will make mistake, I will hurt myself and others. Lord, I just wanna be with you. I just wanna be in your presence. Don't leave me, be with me always, please?

another heart-breaking news

I dont know what is going on, but I am starting to hear and see so many sorrow all around me. Yesterday I met this indonesian guy (with his wife and his mum) who owned and run an indonesian restaurant long time ago in Hawken Drive, near UQ.

I don't really know them but when they saw me his wife waved at me and say hi to me. After exchanging stories why we haven't seen each other (me working in Gold Coast) I found out the main reason why the closed down their business, and it's because of the medication he had to go through because he suffers from kidney failure. He said he has to go to hospital often to do what is called by hemodialysis, and currently he's waiting for a kidney transplant.

To see him smiling so big while sharing his story really touched my heart. ah... my heart is aching. Lord, please help them, please cure him and comfort them, please?

God in my everything

Yesterday, at the church seminar I heard and sang this new song. The lyrics really touch my heart. Titled 'Everything' by Tim Hughes. ah... I want God to be in everything.

Dinner

After church seminar I went back home to take a quick nap before going for dinner in Market Square, Sunnybank.

When I got there, lo and behold I saw 2 new people (both koreans) joining us for dinner. So total now we have 6 new korean friends who most likely will be attending our church and Life-Group. We had 4 already.

What is happening? we're seeing 4 new visitor plus maybe another 2. I was in awe when I met the 2 new koreans tonight. If all of them decide to come regularly to our church and LG, how are we going to help them grow in God? Oh God... I don't know what your plans are, but please guide us and give us wisdom.

No God here

Was just thinking about a church building which has become a night club in China town (just outside city).

I am saddened by the fact that actually many churches are dying, where members are leaving the church as they see church no longer relevant to their life. I can so imagine a signboard put up so big in front of the church saying "God used to live here", or "God does not live here anymore" or "God has changed address".

ah... my heart is aching. What is happening.

A new heart

Been thinking about it.

I need a new heart, this heart of stone that I have is so cold. Lord, please give me a new heart, a warm soft kind and loving heart, that beats like your heart beats and feel what your heart feels.

Movie night

Tonight we didn't have LG meeting as tomorrow we'll be having a church seminar. So we decided to rent a DVD and watch it at home, at Ruth's place. The title is "How to lose a guy in 10 days'.

Yeah, chick-flick.
Quite a nice movie. I've done similar thing in the past where I intentionally wanting to make a girl like me then ditch her, but I ended up liking her so much to the point where not hearing her voice 1 day made my day so miserable. LOL... yupe, that was me long time ago, pursuing happiness through a relationship, ahaha.... I thank God Jesus found me.
:)

Keep Quiet

I learned it's best to just keep quiet.

Sad news

Received an email from a friend saying that one of our friends diagnosed with another growing tumor. She previously had breast cancer. Undergone the treatment and chemo, but now discovered a tumor growing rapidly in her lung.

ah... I am so sad.

growing in my giftings

I desire to have the gift of prophecy so I can help build God's body through the God's Word to equip, prepare, edify and encourage His church.

Hearing His voice is truly hard, especially to discern who should receive what when it comes to praying different people (in the case of praying for people who respond to altar call). 1 thing that I learn is that if I'm not sure, I don't say it.

It's interesting to note that when I received a word or a vision/picture for someone, it will be come clearer and clearer as I pray for the person or as I wait for a better vision or clearer word. Today I prayed for a friend and shared with her what I sensed God wanted to tell her, and praised God that she confirmed what I've shared by saying her heart desire and what she needs to do in the coming days.

ah... I want to be in tuned to God's voice, to the leading of Holy Spirit. To do that, I need to study His Word more and come to His presence so I can discern His voice better. Lord, help me to wake up earlier and so I can have a better devotional time with you.
:)

Awesome LG

Every friday night we have our weekly bible study meeting called Life-Group. I serve in this LG called Joseph 3 as one of the leaders (out of 3 and the only male leader).

Tonight was somewhat different as the group presented a gift to the 3 of us as a token of appreciation for what we've done for the group as leaders.

Personally, to me it was unnecessary and a bit too much. Frankly speaking I never expected them to appreciate us (at least me) for what we've done as leaders. They should appreciate God for letting us serve them as their leaders. But don't worry, I understand where they're coming from and what they're doing, ahaha....

Anyway, I was actually pretty shocked as I didn't expect them to do such thing and I silently (in my heart) thank God for allowing me to serve as one of their leaders. It's been not an easy ride so far as we actually don't have a real unit leader. But I truly thank God for letting me be part of their life thus far. Hence, it was such an awesome LG tonight.

ah... my prayer is for them to grow to be greater leader in the house of God. They said you only need 1 person to make a change, well I say, I need all the guys in my group to make a change to the world. 1 person is not enough, everyone must grow to be what God has designed them.

blind date

Tonight I was supposed to have blind date with a girl (from another church), but I managed to get my friend to come out as well, cause I'm not comfortable meeting up with a girl I don't know.

Anyway, turns out I've met the girl, just that I have bad memory about people's name. It was fun and the 3 of us talked about so many things, especially about our passion for God and His people. And here's the funny and interesting part. We ended the night with prayer, ahahha... and it's not just any prayer, I ended up prophesying over them. LOL

It's weird, ahahaha..... but yeah, ahahha... we prayed for one another and when it was my turn to pray, I just started prophesying over the 2 of them. I was really scared before I prayed because I don't wanna say the wrong thing and I did not know what to pray for. But it's pretty awesome as I got the confirmation after prayer from my friend when she said that one of her leaders said the same prayer some months ago about what God has in mind for her, the ministry she's gonna involve in. So I was like, cool.... So happy that God still uses me in that awkward moment of prayer, ahahha....

A visit to another church

After church service that ended at 6pm, I went to visit another church in the city. Actually it's not a church service, but it's a presentation by an indonesian church held at a presbyterian church in city about christianity in indonesia.

I should say that I haven't seen to many indonesian christian in one place, ahhaha... It was truly an eye opening visit. I thank God for my friend's friend who invited me to come. Not only I got to meet more indonesians, but also got to taste some very nice authentic indonesian cuisines, uh... I miss indonesian food.

The youth from the indonesian church sang some indonesian christian songs and showcased their ability in playing angklung, it was so beautiful. Straight away it came to my mind to ask my pastor to invite them to play in our church, maybe for our multicultural fiesta next year.

ah... I long to see my church getting more involve working together with other churches.

To be a leader, one must be a servant as well

I am serving as a leader of a small group of young working adult in my church. And in the company I am now working at, I am also required at times to use that authority as leader when requiring assistance or help from others of lower working level position.

Frankly speaking, I am still struggling to humble myself before people (especially in church/Life-Group). I am not like many leaders in my church where they are so humble and down to earth. The way it works in church and in my company is quite different. In my company I expect people to do what I want and deliver what is required of them, in a simple term, I have the right to be served. But in church or if I can kindly use the term the kingdom of heaven, as a leader I need to serve instead of being served.

And that's one of my struggle till this very moment, to continually humbling myself and serve my friends, and if possible without people noticing so that I won't have anyone complimenting the works I have done.

Tonight I cooked quite a beautiful food as dinner for the guys in the core team of my group (4 of them). As I have shared, I don't really like to serve people, so when I went shopping I was thinking if I should just cook noodles for them or something nice. Then I said to myself, I shouldn't think so much of the money I spent as I have never been in lack financially (that God always provide). So I cooked a nice seafood pasta.

Tonight, we actually had training for the people in timothy class (those we're training to join the core team in our group) to lead discussion. So after dinner, I quickly washed whatever I could before the discussion. And after discussion, I washed the rest of the plates and glasses.

I was so tempted after discussion to ask one of the guys to wash the rest of the dishes, but then I felt the holy spirit asking me to complete it and said, "Do you want to be a good example to them? You need to learn to serve as a leader. Since you already cooked dinner for them, why don't you complete your serving tonight by also washing everything?"

I was like, ah... *sighing*
Yes, then I remember an occasion where Jesus said that HE came not to be served, but to serve.

Strangely enough, I felt so satisfyingly awesome after washing all the dishes. How true it is, to be a leader, one must be a servant as well. In the kingdom of God, the only way up is down. When you humble yourself, then God will lift you up.

The reason I shared this with you is not so that you know I've done something great, in fact it's actually nothing, but just to say that I feel for you if you also have the same struggle as I do. But continue to learn to humble yourself. I'm still far from being such a humble person, let alone a humble leader. So I hope I can encourage you to continue to serve others.

Bad news

I received 2 news which I considered bad news within 24hrs.

Don't worry, nobody died. But it struck me pretty hard because it involves 2 of my friends. For the sake of sharing let's just say both of them are guys. 1 is a guy who found that God is not relevant to him (especially in his current life situation) and the other one found that he has no purpose in life.

The situations that they face are completely different, however they have similar if not the same spiritual issue, that is trusting God.

It saddened me because the guy number 1 say Albert, wants to leave church, and guy no 2, say Andreas wants suffered depression and wants to commit suicide. I haven't spoken to both of them for a very long time and to hear such news really saddened my heart. The moment I heard the news from another friend, I quickly asked myself, did I play a part in their life to lead them coming to such conclusions? in other words, have I done enough to help them grow in God? And sadly the answer is no.

ah... I don't know how to help them, but I will surely intercede and ask God to reveal to them His plan for their life. I don't want to lose my friends, not this way.

The case of satisfaction

In this life, everyone wants to be satisfied. So do I.

I'm not sure if you've heard of this phrase, but some said that the way to man's heart is through his stomach. I personally can say that it's quite true, as I can be quite irritated and restless when I'm hungry. After a good meal, I feel so satisfied.

I know that satisfaction comes through different avenues. But let's stick to food (solid food) considering it's one of the main and basic needs for human being (after water).

Ps Wilson shared yday at our church anniversary that Jesus was satisfied when he does the will of God (John 4:34). He got me thinking at that time. I'm very easy to satisfy. Man... if you want to satisfy me, give me a good food.

Then I asked myself, "Do I have the same passion as Jesus'? Will I be satisfied when I do God's will? Is it food that sustains me and give me satisfaction or is it God? Is doing God's will more important than food?"

I'm not talking about fasting food just to do God's will, to preach the Gospel to all nations till I die (from starvation), but I'm talking about priorities, what keeps me going.

ah... food can surely satisfy me, and that's because I have a hunger and longing for food. The question is, do I hunger and thirst for Him, to do His will, to see people saved and His Kingdom come in my lifetime. I am still far from it, I know I don't have such strong passion like my pastor or even most leaders in my church, but I hope God can help me increase my hunger and thirst for His will.

Proud to be Joseph 3

OK, I may be biased here, but I am proud to be part of Joseph 3.

Just last wk at the JG Advance (a getaway for the core team of working group), few of us were just chatting away while waiting for the rest to come when somebody asked me about my group, called Joseph 3. And I replied to them saying, "Oh my group is awesome. I'm proud to be Joseph 3." And the person who asked me that question said I used to say the same thing about Joseph 2. So I replied by saying, in the past when I was with Joseph 2, I was proud to be Joseph 2, but now I'm part of Joseph 3 and it's best group so far.

I'm not saying this out of self-pride because I'm a leader in the group and I did lots of work to help grow the group. No, not at all. In fact I did very little and it's God who did most of the work.

I am proud to be Joseph 3 because this is my family (for now). With their strength and weaknesses, I embrace this group and will give my life to the growth of this group. And considering we're still pretty new, to see everyone taking part in many aspects of the running of the LG, I become even prouder all the more to be part of this group. My hope is that when we have to go our own way in the future, everyone in this group will take away something so valuable that they have no choice but to give it away so it can be a blessing to others.

I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but to be in this group, well... maybe heaven. :)

Don't wanna be famous

Today I lip sync-ed singing Whitney Houston's I will always love you and Michael Jackson's Black or White at church. The purpose of doing so was to promote the church (afternoon service only) annual dinner which will be held next month.

I found out from many people that I did a good job, it was entertaining to many. But to me it was actually pretty embarrassing.

But regardless whether it is embarrassing or not, I actually have been trying to stay low, or to be low-profile. I don't want to be famous. This is one of the reason why I step-down from WAM vocals (the vocal ministry in church), and take on a more humbling role as program and floor manager where people won't even notice that such role exist (it's behind the scene work).

But don't get me wrong, OK. The main reason I step-down from WAM is because I know that it's not my ministry. I've thought about it, prayed about it and consulted with my shepherd and few leaders about it (even my pastor) before I made the decision.

Anyway, yeah... I'm trying to humble myself all the time, and I'm saying this because I have issue with pride. Besides, I really don't want to be famous, I don't want people to know me. All I want is just for God to use me to glorify Him, and I don't even have to be mentioned.

It would be nice and great to hear someone say this in the future, "I remember about the time when this person -I forgot who it was- spoke to me about God. His story touched my heart and I accepted Jesus into my life. Now my life is so different, I have a better life, all I want is just to glorify God and make Him known."

That's what I want. Don't want anyone to remember me, but I want people to remember God.

Preaching

This morning I preached for the 2nd time in my life, ahahha... it was quite interesting as I only preached to 3 people which became 2 because someone had to leave early.

My sermon was from Matthew 11:12.
It was pretty hard to prepare for this preaching as it's pretty deep and required a lot of history where lots of other relevant passages need to be considered.

Anyway, I managed to finish put it into words last night, and this morning had another read so I know where to go and what I really have to share.

The first time I preached it was a big failure, cause instead of preaching I ended up sharing. Twas pretty funny to me but people didn't realise it, cause they thought I was just sharing and not preaching, ahaha..

But anyway, will try to grow more in this area. It's good that I fetched Ps Wilson from airport as he shared few things about preaching. If you have not preached before, I would recommend you to ask your leaders to give you opportunity to preach, it's fun, ahahha....

Someone hacked into my computer

Hey, guess what?

Somebody managed to hack into my computer. How? Well.... she managed to crack my password.

The interesting part is, she's not even tech savvy or have that much knowledge about technology, let alone cracking somebody's password. And I think, she has quite a simple mind, but frankly speaking, after what happened on Fri night, hmm... I dunno, I think she has the gift of hacking into people's computer, if there's such a gift. hehehe...

But yeah, you would never put such simple password on your computer right, because we all have been taught to put such difficult password for all electronic things we have, like a mix use of upper and lower case, plus numbers and if possible, the password do not make up a word at all. But because of that I chose a very simple password. Lo and behold, she managed to think simple and guessed my password. Amazing, really amazing.

I think it's good to always try to think simple. hmm.... be simple.

Life Group

Last night I had such a wonderful time at LG (life-group) meeting. I'm sorry to say this, but after such a long time, last night I could so tangibly feel the presence of God. It was... it's just so awesome.

I actually came very late, got to Ruth's place at 8.15pm. At that time, as I walked into the front yart of the house they were just starting the second worship, which is hosanna. I could hear so clearly that the guitarist and the worship leader were not in sync, it's either the worship leader sang off-key or the guitarist played the wrong key. It sounded so off and funny. But the closer I got to the door, the thicker and more tangible I could feel the presence of God, and I could not help but bowing and kneeling down in front of the door. It was just beautiful. So beautiful I just poured out and lay down everything.

I haven't felt like that for so long, and to be honest, I've been longing for such visition from God for such a long time. No more pride within me, no crown I could put on, it's me the low and dirty sinner with a great and mighty God. I trembled before Him in fear, but I could just feel His love and peace embracing me. My fear was gone, and my wound was bound and my confidence was restored, it was just amazing, it was just beautiful.

ah... I don't want to come to LG meeting just to meet people and wind-down from a busy week, but more than that, I want to meet Him and be with Him, I'm dying just to be in His presence. I hope and I pray, every LG meeting that we have as a group will be as awesome, if not better, as last night.

Godliness v cleanliness

Here's a question:

Is there any correlation between godliness and cleanliness?

People who live a healthy life would normally be clean and somewhat tidy/neat. That's the physcial health I was talking about. Now, those who is spiritually healthy, would tend to be physcially healthy as well. I am basing this on 1 cor 3;16-17 (just from the top of my head). I'm sure there must be other verses in the bible that encourage christians to live a healthy life (and clean as well).

Now, wouldn't it be weird if spiritually matured christians are dirty and smelly? Because, this question will lead me to another question - and that is, if a christian is matured in the inside (spiritually), wouldn't it be reflected in the outside as well? like the way s/he lives his/her life (as in the way s/he dresses, walks, talks even his/her house? Think about it.

my embarrassing moment

Today was one of those days in your life where you wish you didn't have to have.

In the morning I woke up at 5.45. Did a quick QT, shower, dress up, then breakfast. But when I leave my house, I realised that the clock was already showing 7.20am. I was like, "No...." Then I prayed for God to clear the traffic for me. Walaaah... no traffic. Praise God.

Then when I got to the parking lots (free public parking lots), I quickly ran to the coach/shuttle bus. When, I got to office I quickly went to the bathroom as I got stomachache. When I finished,I noticed this big hole at the back of my trousers, I was like "HAH". I must have tore the fabric (exactly next to the back pocket) .I called my colleague in panick, and he couldn't stop laughing. Hate him for that. But he said that as people can't really see it as long as I don't tuck in my shirt, it shouldn't be a big issue. Praise God the hole wasn't so big.

Then when I got to my desk, I realised I left my wallet in my car, which was quite visible from outside. Then my other colleague offered to drive me to the car park to get my wallet. Praise God for her.

So yeah, in all, I did have a day full of unpleasant things, but at the same time, I also did have a day full of God's blessing, where my colleagues came to my rescue. ah... though it's such a cloudy day, cold, torn trousers, stomachache, it was still a beautiful day, thanks to God. :)

Wonderful weekend

Man... I tell you, I just had one of the most awesome w/e in my life.

Yday - Friday - wa/s my day off, it was GC show-day, same as the show-day (for Ekka) in Bne. So how I spent my day-off?

Woke up at 7.30pm, dropped my car to Honda for service in W'gabba, walked/jogged back home (took me 1.5hr), quick rest at home, then caught up with a friend whom I haven't seen for ages over lunch at himawari.

After that I had ice chocolate in Mt Cootha then altered my trousers in city, picked up my car from Honda, then quick rest at home before heading off to have dinner with my LG people in Sunnybank, which was then followed by bowling in Greenslopes. And after bowling, we headed back to Ruth's place for the board game (Man Laws, Women Rules) and dessert. Thanks Ruth for the mochi.

Today, I went for bushwalking. It's part of the Band of Brothers (and Simply Women) church seminar. I personally enjoyed it so much, though I know some people would rather be doing something else.But anyway, 1 thing that I learned is that teamwork requires each members to bring their individuality into the team to work together so we can achieve the goal, because without them, we won't be able to achieve it, that is also called synergy, when 1 + 1 = 3. I also learned that I really need to grow in the area of attention to details. I missed one landmark which I was supposed to take picture of. Besides that, I also learned that no matter what, we must always stick together. Leave no man behind. If you wanna reach a destination quick, go yourself. But you can't do that when you are in a team, cause it's not about you, it's about everyone, hence we need to shoulder each others' burden. From leadership perspective, team leader must know where we are going, clear direction must be given so people would know and hence able to participate and contribute their different skills and ability to the team. As followers, I need to support my leader no matter what, unless he's absolutely off-tangent, ehehhe....

Suicidal

I just got home, from a great dinner with few friends.

While driving back home, focus on family was talking about the yellow ribbon campaign about stopping teens from taking their own life, due to various reasons.

Suicidal is permanent solution to temporary problem
Have I ever thought about it? yes I have
Do I know anyone who is suicidal? I'm afraid yes
Can I help the person? no
So what do I do? pray for the person, and refer the person to doctor for counselling

Yeah, I had a couple of instances where I wanted to take my own life. The last one was like 10yrs ago when I had issues with my bgr. I thank God that I didn't do it, and to finally found God and have Him in my life helped me overcome root issues in my life.

Anyway, enough about suicidal.
After dinner, while we're just chatting away, out of nowhere I almost cry. Somehow I felt so good that it made me wanna cry. At that time I couldn't help but appreciate what God has done in the life of this friend who has changed so much, from a guy who couldnt think of anything else but money, to someone who gave up a his high position so he doesn't have to work so long/hard so he can serve in LG and can occassionally cook for few friends. Man... looking at him tonight just made me wanna cry. ah.... Thank you Lord for letting me be part of this friend's life.

updates

1. laptop
My laptop died (as in stop working) last week. Though I didnt expect it to die, everyone said that my laptop had done well by being so reliable in till last week, never crashed, never hang and never give me any problem at all. So to have such a reliable laptop for 5yrs can be considered as blessed, me that is. I praise God for that.

2. Catching up with friends
Last friday as usual I had LG meeting. We had a visitor from NZ, she's visiting Abby, one of the girls in our group. 1 thing like about our group is that we're always excited when we see a visitor. It's crazy. After G meeting finished, abby asked if anyone would like to accompany her and her friend for coffee. Everyone (except 1 person as he was very tired) said yes. crazyness, I love my LG.

Then on Sat, I went out with Francis for breakfast followed by golf - driving range, where I got all the blister on my fingers, man... so painful. Afterward, we met up with Abby and her friend in GC and had lunch together, followed by windowshopping in Harbor Town, where I bought a sports jacket from Polo RL shop, thanks to the massive discount. RRP was over $300, and paid only $99, ehehhe....

Oh ya, last friday I also got a good deal on my car service. i called and booked a honda authorised mechanic to service my car. Before I hung up the phone, I asked him how much it'd cost me, he said $215. I thought, cool. But afterwards I felt the urge to call my honda dealer and ask how much they'll charge me for car service. Guess how much? $177. I was like, WHAT THE!!! Man... praise the Lord. So today, I canceled the other mechanic.

Last but not least, do you know this sign <3 is? If you dont know it's ok, cause I didnt know till yday night, when abby said that it represent the shape of heart, which means love. You know how people always type regards, or yours truly, or with love, or whatever? so instead of writing those words, people would just use that sign. Man... I never knew what that sign is till last night, ahhaha....

The challenge

I've been trying to get back to my normal routines of having regular quiet-time. Man I tell you... it's so very challenging. In the morning when I wake up, I'd feel so sleepy and lazy. My eyes are like fighting so hard not to open. And at night, I feel so tired.

ah... why does it have to be this hard and challenging just to hear God.

Here's a quote my housemate said to me:
"The pain of discipline is no greater than the pain of disappointment."

My funeral

I was just thinking about it the other day.

Wouldn't it be cool if in my funeral people can be saved, as in repent and accept Jesus into their life to be their Lord and Savior?

So I was wondering, how can I prepare my own funeral, in such a way I can share the message of Salvation through a pre-recorded video clip and play it as my last message in the 'wake' (ceremony before actual funeral)?

I don't think I'll die soon, but it would be wonderful in some time in the very near future I can make the recording/video clip. I would say something along this line "yeay... I have changed my address, I don't live in Saint Lucia, Brisbane, Australia, Planet Earth anymore. I now live in Heaven, woohooo... how do I know this? Because Jesus said so in the bible, for I have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus shed on the cross, and forgiven by Him whom I call Abba, Father. You can also come here (when it's your time obviously) when you acknowledge that you are a sinner, you repent from your sins and invite Jesus to come into your life, and so on... "

Man... if in my death I can bless people through the pre-recorded message so those of my friends or relatives can come to know Jesus, uh... that would just make my day, ahhaha....

Sacrifice

Just had a late-night chat with my housemate, and this thought came to my mind while talking to him, 'not all sacrifice are meant to be made', in other words, some sacrifice are not meant to be a sacrifice at all, or we're not meant to sacrifice some things.

I don't know how to explain it as it just came to my mind and I don't have any passage from the bible to support it. We will know what to sacrifice when we walk closely with God, when we know what pleases Him and what He wants us to do or to sacrifice.

Just reminiscing

Was talking to my housemate last night about life-group and outreach activities when I suddenly remember how many people have left my life-group.

Started by Ruth Boey who left for Singapore, one by one people were just leaving the life group. When Lead Tao -my unit leader- left 3 weeks later (after Ruth), it took me quite some time to realised that I was actually on my own (though my shepherd became the acting unit leader for our group). And then 4 months later Jasmine Lee went back to Singapore. Last month, Sophie left us for China. Man... as if it's not enough, another guy in my group is finalising his move to Hong Kong end of this yr.

I was like, 'LORD, what's going on?'
ah... this group is truly the best life-group I've been so far, and yet I can say that this group is the only group where goodbye is no strange word to us. People come and go, and all of them went away (back to their countries or some other places) in a sudden. All I can do is to try to cherish my time with them as much as I can, to maximise every single moment to edify and build one another up.

It takes a life-time to know someone, but I don't even have a life-time to know my group member, only few weeks or few months (let alone few years). Oh God, help me Lord to cherish my time with them and help me to be a blessing to them as well.

To you all, Ruth Boey, Lead Tao, Jasmine Lee and Sophia Liang, continue to grow in and shine for Him. Be a blessing to people and to Him wherever you are. I hope you can all come back here again, ahahhaa...

Congratulation

Almost forgot to share this.

Last w/e 2 of my friends got married, ahhaha... it's Han and Joy, yeay.... and yday I received the news from Jessie that she's now engaged to Tach, and ahaha..... there's more, yday I also received the news that Kanae and Justin are getting married soon, yeay... Besides Kei (my x-shepherd), Kanae is the closest friend from Japan that I have in this church. I know other people from Japan in this church, but haven't got the chance to talk/share much about God and their calling in God's Kingdom.

So yeah, congrats to Han and Joy, and I'm really happy for Kanae and Jessie.

Beautiful

Yes, I feel beautiful and I also think life is beautiful.

Today I went to work when most -if not all- of my friends were either taking rest at home or having fun as it's a holiday for brisbane, but not Gold Coast. Gold Coast will have its show day holiday 2 wks later.

So what does it have to do with me feeling beautiful? nothing, ahhaha... I just feel beautiful, can't I?

Anyway, I feel like sharing how much I cherish the people in my life-group. Yday night we had corporate (church) prayer meeting in Wgabba. On the way from office, I felt so sleepy that I decided to pull over so I could take power nap, but as I drove slower trying to stop, all of a sudden my sleepiness was gone. I myself was quite shocked. So I continued on driving to princess theatre. At PM, it was so refreshing. God's Word was spoken forth by different ones and I really enjoyed it. It's always good to be surrounded by people who have the same heart, seeking God.

After PM, though I felt physically tired, I decided to join few people from my group for late dinner at Little Singapore in Sunnybank. We had a pretty quick dinner. When I tried to excuse myself, Francis asked if I were in a hurry, I said I was feeling tired and I had to write weekly email updates to the group. Then Abby quickly offered her help to write the email and send it to the group if it's ok with me. I was like, "wow...". I quickly accepted the offer, aahhahaa.... but yeah, this small and little things really made my day.

Many people in my group are so nice and have that servanthood heart which really bless my heart. I learn a lot from them, at least their attitude to always wanting to help one another. If I can say this frankly without offending anyone from my former group (Judah 2, Judah 6 and the original Joseph), this group (Joseph 3) is the best group so far. I am so looking forward to grow more and deeper in God together with them. I tell you, this is life group, a group of people doing life together.

I am no angel

Today a friend of mine got so upset and angry at me for not coming to the rescue last wk. When he sms-ed me asking for help, I was having dinner with few friends celebrating a friend's bday as well as her farewell.

When I received his sms, I decided not to go and meet him.

I don't know if it's just me or people do struggle with saying 'no'. I used to struggle a lot (and still struggle sometimes) with saying no to people who ask for help. When people ask for help, the pressure -to say yes because of our pure heart wanting to help (as much as possible) that comes from God's command to love our neighbour as we love ourselves- is so big that we can't find ourselves in a position to say no. When we say no, we will feel so guilty and condemn ourselves. We'll ask ourselves, what if it's the chance to share the Gospel, what if it's the chance to bless them so they know that God loves them.

The truth of the matter is we are no saviour, we are not God, only God can save everyone, and people need to learn to depend on God more than others.

My friend got so upset and angry he called me names. I apologise to him sincerely for not being able to meet him last wk and told him that 'I am no angel, nor am I God. I can't always be there for you.'

I'm still struggling now and then, but it becomes easier to overcome when I learn to seek wisdom from God and prioritise my activity on a daily basis.

Midnight emo

I'm feeling emo, I miss my mum.

Astigmatism

It's been quite an interesting few weeks.

Tomorrow most likely I have to stay back at work till very late (yes, I'm also surprised) to finish my work. But it's ok, strangely enough I'm looking forward to it.

Y'day morning my friend got married. They looked so beautiful and lovely.
Then at night, I went to a friend's farewell dinner. There I heard a new word, 'astigmatism'. Curious, today at church I went and asked her what it is. I don't think I can explain it well here, but it's a condition whereby a person loses the ability to see fine details. To fix the condition, or rather to help the person see better, the person needs to wear contact lenses or undergo a refractive surgery (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astigmatism) .

Come to think of it, I also suffered from astigmatism. Many times I could not see clearly what is going on around me. To make matter worse, spiritually, I can be so blurred that without even noticing it I am walking so far off from God's direction. The only way I can see better is to use the Holy Spirit's eyes, that is seeing things from God's eyes.

But to do that, I need to continually put on the contact lenses, while God gently and slowly do the refractive surgery on my spiritual eyes. I know it's not easy, but I want to do it. I've been seeing things so blurry, and I'm not happy with my condition at all. When I put on my HS glasses I realised I can see better, so I will continually put on my HS glasses and let God operate on my eyes. I look forward to the day where God finished with the refractive surgery on my eyes, it will be awesome. That day is gonna be so awesome.

Updates 2: Spiritual Life

Here's the interesting part, ahhaha....

Guess what? I haven't been doing a proper QT since the day I started my job. Yep, I know. It's sad isn't it. I did have some sort of QT when driving to GC or back to Bne, where I sing songs then pray, or listen to CDs as well as the audio bible. But it's not as fulfilling as when I did QT at home, spending time 30mins or so waiting for God to speak.

Anyway, last Friday was the lowest attendance of people in my LG and one of the toughest night to praise and worship God. 8 of 21 didn't come, and half of those who came were sick (flu and cold). To top it all, most of them were tired from work and a bit distracted. The core team agreed that we could've done so much better than that, and we decided to change few things, at the very least our attitude when we come to LG where we will decide before hand to put lay down before God whatever burden we have and choose to bless Him with songs and bless others with our smiles and encouragement.

I sensed strongly that it's the attack of the enemy to our group as most (if not all) in the group have been growing, so much so that attendance to LG and church have been consistently high and people have been serving in church and LG consistently as well. So yeah, hats off to the devil for doing the damage, but I offer no apology for the ground breaking spiritual growth our group is having at the moment. Devil, I know you're the best deceiver but the truth and the Lord Almighty is with us.

Updates: Work

Hello... been a while hey.

OK, let me update you with my work.
Work has been good. Yep, so far so good, no major issues. The first week was a bit tough, not the work itself, but the commuting part, especially driving back from GC to Bne. Every day I would stop half-way to take a power nap as my eyes and brain could not take it. Second week was a bit better where I only stopped half-way a couple of days. Last wk and this week I haven't stopped at all, so it's good, cause it means my body is getting used to it.

The work itself has been interesting as it is a steep learning curve for me. So many things to learn. Currently I'm just doing reporting with no analysis at all, but soon they'll ask me to analyse data and put figures into words (or is it words into figures). Anyway... my colleagues have been very supportive. Love them.

My Resignation

Don't worry, I'm not resigning from my work, ahhahaa... just wanna share something about my spiritual life.

Exactly 3 months ago, or rather 3 months and a bit, I told my pastor (and few other leaders) about my desire to quit WAM in particular being the vocalist/back-up singer in church. WAM is the ministry for worship, arts and media in my church.

To my surprise, yes.. to my surprise, a lot of people were surprised that I was resigning from WAM, even my pastor asked me if I were sure with my decision, to which I replied with a YES as I have thought about it and prayed about it for quite some time before I made the decision. Somehow I felt that my gifting is not in the singing ministry. Don't get me wrong, I like to sing, but I struggled a lot last yr in terms of growing in my skills and ability to sing properly. I know that I can train myself, but it's like I had to put way much effort compare to other people with minimum growth in skill. Furthermore, my desire to learn more about the running of the church -especially the program wise- has increased so much, so much so that I couldn't take my eyes off how things are being done during the church service. And I had to really cast away any thoughts of observing the program so I can enjoy my time with God in church.

But everything is good now. I am not part of the worship/vocal team anymore. I'm actually still part of WAM, but under church programs. They haven't put me under program yet, instead they put me under floor managing to learn more about what's happening outside the hall, then a couple of months later I'll be moving to programs.

It's an exciting journey this yr. I lost my job beginning of this yr and stayed unemployed until I used up all my savings, got a job at the right time when my bank account is showing single digit, then moved on from worship team to join floor managing team and will move to programs soon, and still growing the guys in my group. ah.... this is life. Good one day, and beautiful the next, ahaha....

If anyone of you from worship team are reading this, just wanna thank you all for your support. I'm gonna miss you guys, muchly.

Job Scope

I survived the first week at my work without a scratch, wuf.....

Tomorrow is Friday, the last day of my second week at work, ahhaa... Yday I discovered from my colleagues and boss that I'm supposed to be the 'know-it-all' guy in the team. Furthermore, due to me having knowledge of the use of peoplesoft in particular query and nVision, another colleague has asked me to help him in times of needs, and he'll show me and teach me about his work. I was like "HAH???"

I thought to myself "Did I sign up for this job?"
ahhaha... I'm laughing with tears coming out of my eyes, but don't worry, only happen in my mind. So yeah, was a bit shocked to find they put so much expectation on me. I don't know how I can handle the pressure in the future but I hope I can do it. Help me Lord.

Quick Update

Hi...
It's been more 2 weeks since I posted my last blog.

Well, let me give you a quick update.
I started my work on Monday, 3 days ago. Yep, this week is actually my first week at work. Tomorrow is Friday, man.... I'm tired, ahahha....

Life-group is growing, qtty and quality wise. I'm getting used to waking up early now, at 5.30am. But i'm still trying to have some good quality time with God. It's a bit challenging waking up early morning and open your eyes and mind to talk to God.

Oh ya, I bought a new mobilephone, and I was stupid enough to delete most of the numbers in my sim-card. YES, I lost so many numbers, hence I had to ask my friends to send me theirs, ahhaha...

I guess that's about it. I'm so sleepy. Good nite.
:)

The little announcement

Yday at the Princess Theatre, after our church prayer meeting finished, I gathered my group and told them to stop praying for me. Then they asked why, and and answered themselves by guessing that I got a job, to which I nodded with a smile.

Then guess what happened?
They all screamed happily. So loud that they attracted so much attention and within minutes people started to come to me and congratulated me for getting a new job. I was so shocked. I didn't expect the little announcement turned into a big one, it's as if I just announce my engagement or marriage. Man... that was overwhelming.

Lesson to learn, never announce something to my group where there's a lot of crowds around us. ehehhe....

But 1 thing that I really cherish is the look of their face and eyes when I nodded yes I got a job. It's as if they just received one very good news, and that made them scream so loud. When I got the phone call from my agent saying I got the offer, I wasn't as excited as they are, but because of them I became so excited myself, ahhaha....

The screaming part maybe a bit too much, but it shows how much they cherish the news. I love them, I must say that this group is the best group so far. I praise God for blessing me with these crazy and loud people. I am so looking forward to grow to a new level in God together with them all. Thank you Lord.

Moving on

Today my grandpa will buried in his hometown. Mum, dad and my older brother are there now, ah... how I wish I could be there.

While I was jogging this morning, I received a phone call from my recruitment agent saying that I got an offer for a job. It was quite pleasing to hear it, because it means I know that my place is here, that I'm supposed to serve in this church.

I thank God for the job not because I got a job, but because the job represent God's answer to me when I asked Him if I should stay here, and not go back to Jakarta. ah... it's a mixed feeling that I have right now. But I thank God for all the challenges and blessings. Thank you Lord.

Goodbye Ompung

hmm... I guess people come people go.

When I got home after LG last Fri nite, I received a msg from my sister saying that our grandpa died in the afternoon (grandpa in my mother tongue is ompung laki-laki, but we normally just address him as ompung). Mum, dad and my older brother flew back to Medan straight away. The good thing is that mum was not so sad as the whole family had been anticipating this time to come. Apparently grandpa had not been doing well in the past few months, health wise that is.

When I received the news, I was thinking about mum straight away, as she really loves grandpa, so much so that almost every month she would flew back to Medan (2hr away by plane from Jakarta) just to see him.

ah... I really want to go back and attend the funeral service, but the ticket is so expensive and I'm still in a situation where I'm not flexible with money and time, as I'm still seeking God for direction. I don't know why things seem to be getting harder and harder right now. Lord, what is in your mind?

Goodbye ompung, I look forward to seeing you again in Heaven.

You my strong tower O LORD

When I looked at my current situation, I felt so discouraged and I kept on asking God why I should go through this challenges, and it made want to cry out loud. I can't even make any concrete plan for my future. I felt as if I'm in a dark, so dark I could not see anything, hence I don't know where to move/go.

But instead of crying, I was proclaiming the goodness of God, the God who would never leave me nor forsake me, and the assurance that He will bring me through this.

You are my strong tower, shelter over me. Beautiful and mighty, everlasting King.
You are my strong tower, fortress when I'm weak. Your name is true and holy, and your face is all I see.

Great leaders produce greater leaders

These couple of months, me and my leader have been busy building and training a couple of guys in my group to grow in their leadership skills. Starting from the basic stuff, that is growing in their personal relationship with God, to how they should communicate different things to others, be it in formal or casual way.

It takes a skill to be a great leader in the house of God.
Everyone knows that without God's support, a leader will not last long. But more than that, it's a leader's responsibility to grow in his/her leadership skill. And that's what I and my leader have been doing. It's not easy, as we needed to touch on few sensitive issues, like pride, faithfulness, as well as communication and interpersonal skills.

One thing that I learn is that, as we both help them to grow in their skill, I am actually also growing in the areas we're teaching/helping them to grow in, as I was reminding myself again about the things we were discussing at any particular meeting.

I remember someone once said that, great leaders produce great leaders (in my dictionary it should be great leaders produce greater leaders). When we disciple others, we need to think of this question, 'who can replace us if we're not around tomorrow?'.

If no one can replace me, then I'm a failure. In times of need, followers must be able to rise up to be great leaders, as Paul wrote in 1 Cor 11, follow me as I follow Christ. Elisha rose up to be great prophets thanks to the training he received from Elijah. Elijah made so much impact on him that he dared to ask for double portion of Elijah's spirit (anointing of God). In the bible, there's only 4 occasions where waters were parted, Moses with the red sea, Joshua with the Jordan river plus Elijah and Elisha both parted Jordan river as well.

I do not want to be a leader where I achieve so many things during my leadership period. I want to be someone who leads and produces great leaders in the house of God. What's so good about it when you can achieve so many things but no one can continue doing great things you've done. There's nothing fascinating about it. Examples are everywhere, you can start with Alexander the Great. The moment he died, his empire died as well.

So that's one of my goal, if I'm not around next yr, or next month, or even tomorrow, someone (under my leadership) will be able to rise up and take my place to lead others and produce even greater leaders than they are in God's house. All I have to do is just to give my best (and I'm trying to give my best) in training them and helping them grow in their leadership skill, and then let God do the rest.

My future

My life has been very interesting these last few months.

Frankly speaking, I really don't know where I'll be next month, ahaha.... I feel like screaming now. There's so many things I need to think about, to pray and to plan, but my situation is not getting any better, at least from where I'm standing at the moment.

I am honestly so tempted to look for job outside brisbane, like melbourne (for some reason, this place captured my eyes), and I have even been talking to a couple of friends in jakarta, about possible job opportunities there. But ah... deep down in my heart, I don't know why, but I feel that my place is here. This is the place where I can really grow in God. However I keep on questioning God's plan for me right now, what is it Lord? Where do you want me to be?

ah... why should life be this challenging. Can't wait to get out of this dark tunnel. I could see that little light, but it's seems to be so far away.

Barcelona won 2 - 0

Yep, barca won 2-0 against MU, ahahha....

It was such an nice match to game as Barca gave their best. MU played well, but not as well as they should've been. They could play better than that.

Just for the sake of watching the game at 4.45am this morning, I purposely went to bed at 11pm, and set my alarm at 4.30am so I wouldn't miss anything. I woke up at 4.25am. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I went to my friend's house (next door) to watch the game. The rest was history.

After watching the game I came back home and had my breakfast and went online. Then while online, I felt the tug of the Holy Spirit asking me if I could have the same passion and attitude towards meeting God in the morning.

ah.... I am truly 1 weak human being. I asked God to forgive me for neglecting Him all this while. When I have my QT in the morning, I wouldn't put so much effort like watching the game this morning. Guilty? a little bit, but more of a conviction to grow in my passion for His Word and encountering Him on a daily basis. Help me Lord.

If you're a fan of MU, well... they've done well, but Barca's done it better, ehhee... Peace. :)

Why is it so hard?

hmm..........
sometimes I find it really challenging and hard to trust God. Honestly.

My Weekend

Man... I just had one of the most, uh... I don't know how to say it as I don't want to understate or even overstate it, but yeah, I just had one of the most awesome weekend I ever have so far in my life.

Nothing out of the ordinary.
Friday night as usual it was time with my LG (life-group or bible study group) people. Then I stayed up late surfing the net trying to find some funny video clips from youtube and found some nice one. And then I woke up at about 11ish am. By the time I got up from the bed, it was 12pm already. So I quickly changed and went to see my friend for lunch.

I fetched him from his place and we went to this korean restaurant near sunnybank hills and had korean bbq. It was about 1.30pm. When we finished lunch, it's about 3pm I was so full I had to wait few minutes to let my tummy digest a bit of the food. Went back to his place to help him with some of his work and off we went to southbank cinemas to watch 'Night At The Museum 2'. The movie was at 5pm.

Movied finished at 7.pm, we went to Runcorn to have dinner at this nice taiwanese restaurant called Green Tea House. Time was 7.30pm. I actually was not really hungry but I ordered anyway. I couldn't finished my food. Over there I also ordered this nice drink called Romance, so sweet. When we finished our dinner, I was again so full that I felt so uneasy when I moved or walked, you know what I mean. I almost had that feeling of throwing up, but thank God I didn't reach that stage.

Went back home to Andy's place and watched another movie (DVD) called Eagle Eye. Nice movie. Then I came back home and hit the bed just after 12am. And Sunday, woke up at 8.30am, did a bit of QT and had brunch at 10am with the core-team in my group at my place. Then went to CDS and taught in EE2 class, followed by church service and then dinner with my LG people. After than went to Andy's place to watch Body of Lies. And now I'm home.

Ah... that's my weekend.
But it's actually nothing if I hadn't spent those hours with my good and close friends. I love food, but it didn't really give me a full satisfaction. Spending my time with them completes the picture. I thank God for blessing me with such beautiful friends. ah.... I am truly blessed. Thank you Lord.

Here's one of the youtube clips I enjoyed watching last Sat early morning.

Knowledge

Knowledge, it can either help rise you or bring you down.
I found that if you can't take one little information well, you won't be able to take one huge huge knowledge. And the scary part is, if it's regarding biblical knowledge.

And I'm seeing it with my own eyes, where people accumulated such biblical knowledge but ended up outside His court.

1 thing that I know is that the Holy Spirit will not bring disunity upon His church. I can only ask for His wisdom and covering upon me as I am learning more and more about Him and His words.

Choosing the right battle

When I was doing my QT (quiet-time) yday, God reminded me again to choose the right battle to fight.

In life, I'll be presented with so many battles before our eyes.
Guess what? Not all the battles presented in front of me are for me to fight. The reason being is that some battles are just plain a waste of time and energy, while the others are not meant for me to fight. Hence, I need to choose the right battle for myself.

The best example I can use for this is the incident when David fought Goliath in 1 Sam 17:26-51. Please read it. You'd notice that before he could fight Goliath, he had to face 3 times negative circumstance, 1 from his older brother, another one from the king Saul himself and the last one from the battle dress he was supposed to wear.

Upon seeing David at the battle lines, Eliab (David's older brother) burned with anger and accused him for being ignorant, by coming to the battle lines to watch the battle. Instead of arguing with him, David chose to ignore the negative comment. And when Saul told him that he was only a boy, he replied Saul with the success he had in the past and what God can do through him right now. Then as Saul dressed him with his own tunic, David felt the tunic restricted his body movement. The tunic certainly could give David a booze of confidence, but noticed how after walking around with it, without second thought, he just took them of. The reason being is that he knew better than anyone else that his confidence comes only from the Lord.

Come to think of it, if David was bitter towards Eliab, argued with him and went back home to tend the flock, David would've missed the opportunity to fight the battle meant for him. If he got bitter towards Saul's comment, he would've missed the opportunity as well. And if he went ahead with that most-likely heavy and restricted tunic, he might have missed the opportunity to win the battle.

What David did is that, he ignored Eliab's comment, he told Saul his success in the past and what God can do through him in present situation, and he chose to let go the tunic and draw his confidence and strength from God alone. The rest is history.

Everyday I have a lot of battles presented to me, but not all of them are meant for me to fight. I thank God for this reminder, cause I don't have the time and energy to fight all the battles. Hence it's important to know which battle to fight, because winning the right battle can give me greater impact on my spiritual growth (especially in my relationship with Him).

Movie talk - Secret

Just watched one of Jay Chou's old film titled 'Secret' with my LG people. He's playing as Jay.

Man... such a classic, it's a romance movie btw. They used a lot of lame pick-up lines, but I still enjoyed it, and so did everyone who watched it just then.

The beginning of the movie wasn't so great as there's no really clear direction as to what is happening during the first 5 or 10mins, especially when he listened to the piece Rain was playing. But it got better as the story developed.

1 thing that I hate from Jay which happened to be so true considering I'm also a guy is that guy tend to be easily attracted to the beauty of a girl. After 5 months with no news from Rain, Jay developed attraction towards the other girl (sky), but I guess I need to give credit to sky who persistently persevere to build their friendship over those 5 months period when Rain didn't even show up.

Just like any other people, I like to watch a happy ending story, ahhaha... so I was quite happy to see Jay and Rain got together at the end (assumption needed to be made for this). I learned quite a lot from this movie, not so much of learning new things, but more of another reminder about few things:
1. Comunication is a key in any kind/form of relationship, and that communication must be clear, where both (or more) parties fully understand each other.
2. Perseverence does pay. From biblical perspective, everything that we do in God will never be in vain (if you're non-christian, please ask your christian friend what this means).
3. Music is beautiful. 2 instruments that I really wanted to play long time ago, piano and violin. Ah.. I love listening to piano, especially songs composed by chopin, beethoven and mozard,or even tchaikovsky and haydn. Too bad I can't play both instruments. And it's a shame that I can't even play guitar well, ahhahaa...

Anyway, if you haven't watched that movie, I recommend you to watch it. It's nice and very entertaining.

We need to stop praying/reading the bible

YES.
Though this is absolutely not biblically correct or even politically correct, but most if not all need to stop praying or reading the bible. Regardless of whether they're new converts, ordinary members, intercessors, leaders with high position in church or even pastors.

We need to start doing the work, walk the talk and not just talk the talk.
Here's a question, when was the last time you spoke about Jesus and the message of salvation (the Gospel that is), that anyone can go to heaven regardless of their mistakes or sins in the past, even a murderer or rapist can go to heaven, and the only thing that have to do is to repent and receive Jesus to be their Lord and Savior.

Or, here's another question, when was the last time you blessed your enemy and glorify God in doing so? Or here's another question, when was the last time you helped a complete stranger without having prejudice or expecting something in return at all (and you praised God for the opportunity given)? And here's another question, take a look at the list of your non-christian friends, is the list getting shorter and shorter to the point where you have no more friends who are non-christian?

See, a lot of time christians prayed for miracles, to see God moves, without having to do the work. A lot of times christians prayed in their own room early morning or late at night for God to make their neighbour come and talk to them, well hello......... go and approach them and say hi to them, and build relationship with them.

Don't get me wrong, I'm guilty as charged as well. But time and time again God reminded me to do the work, for action speaks louder than mere words. Faith without deed is dead. If we're growing in our relationship with God, we should see the fruit, so much and so tangibly that we might have to ask God to stop it cause we can't contain it any longer.

So yeah, we do need to pray as prayer moves a mountain, and we do need to read the bible to equip ourselves, but we shouldn't stop there, we need to do the work as well. Lazy believer is no believer at all.

Guess what I just did?

Yes, guess what?
I just prayed over my friend who can't jog or run properly because one of her legs is shorter than the other and she also has problem in her lower abdomen area (might be the bladder) as it gives her so much pain and she needed to go to toilet so often, including in the middle of the night when she's asleep.

And I felt the urge to pray for her.
So I asked her if I can pray for her. Her reply was, "Is it possible for my bones (referring to the shorter leg) to grow? I don't really care about my legs, I want a healthy body especially from this pain in my tummy."

Then I told her that it's possible, and I will also pray for the pain in her tummy. So she allowed me to pray for her. Btw, she's not a christian. So I wrote down my prayer so she could see what's in my heart. In case you haven't noticed, I was doing this over MSN.

I saw her on MSN after months of losing contact. I don't normally go to MSN, but tonight I received her email asking if I've found a job yet (she knows I lost my job back in Jan). So I thought I might log-in to MSN, and there we chatted for a good 1hr. And out of the many topics, we stumbled upon jogging and she started sharing how she can't go for jog.

Ah... I want to see all my friends be saved, if possible, in my life time. I hope and pray that God will heal her completely and grow her leg so both of them will be of equal length. Guess what? It was my first time to pray for her, and let her see my prayer as well. I've shared the Gospel long time ago to her though, but she rejected my offer to accept Him, just like many of my friends. But 1 day, I look forward to that day, when she and my many other friends, receive Christ to be their Lord and Saviour. I hope when that day comes, I'm still alive, because I don't want them just to be saved, I also want to see them experiencing the abundant life in Christ before they die.

A surprise visitation

Just had a surprise visitation by a friend of mine and his dad and his dad's friend.

After a brief introduction, his dad (who so happened to be a pastor and prophet) prayed for my housemate and me. I was kinda surprised as I did not expect anything at all. And while trying to listen and at the same time understand what he was prophesying over my housemate, he put his hand over my shoulder and started praying and prophesying.

He started from my past (which was pretty accurate), moving to my current/present situation and then my future. It was very fast and there's so much to take. After he finished praying and prophesying, he encouraged both of us to seek God over the prophesy for confirmation and to test the words as well, as time goes by.

The scary part is, a lot of the things that he said was true, as I can confirm it myself, especially the part about my past and present situation.

I praise God for this surprise, the chance to hear someone to speak the word from God. I hope HE will reveal more and confirm the things that's gonna happen to me in the very near future. In the mean time, I will continue to seek Him for comfort, strength, wisdom and everything that I need to live my life to the fullest.

Leadership and obedience

These 2 things are actually inseparable.

I think I've touched on this topic long time ago, but let me elaborate a little bit more right now. Before one can be a leader, one must be a follower. If one doesn't know how to follow, then one will find it very challenging to lead. Following and leading are 2 different things, but they are interconnected and can't be separated, because without follower, once can not be a leader, and without a leader, one can not be a follower.

Now you might ask where obedience is?
Well, it lies in the period when on learn how to follow (that period is all our life, because we will always have a leader above us, and maybe a follower under us). It takes a lot of humility, energy and effort to obey fully and wholeheartedly. Especially to men, to obey can actually very difficult or challenging.

This is the reason why God delights more in obedience than sacrifice. Starting from Adam right through to the story of all the apostles till John who wrote the final book of the bible (Revelation), obedience is one of the key attitude that God is trying to teach His people.

I learned that many mighty men and women in the bible became such great leaders because of their amazing servant-hood heart and obedience to God's Word. Noah obeyed God wholeheartedly when God asked him to build an ark for himself, his family and all chosen animals (Gen 7). Abraham obeyed God when He asked him to leave his house and family to a place God did not even revealed to him in the first place (Gen 12). Isaac obeyed God when He asked him to stay at the place where he was living (Gen 26). Jacob through his colourful life story did obey God when He asked him to settle in Bethel. Joseph's obedience must be drawn from a somewhat different perspective as he continued to walk righteously before God and men, and serve his father, his brothers and others faitfully despite the circumstances (Gen 37-41). In the book of Exodus, Moses and Aaron taught Israel how obeying God's Word can bring blessing to their life as God showed them His mighty power over all creation during their escape from Egypt. And I haven't even reached half of the bible here.

So you can see how important obedience is to God.
But guess what, this is one area in my life where I really need to grow more, otherwise I'll just get stuck at the level where I'm at now. Over time I learned that actually there's more to obedience that just actioning what my leader has asked me to do, there's unity to keep, there's the flow with the whole leadership team, there's a flow with the move of Holy Spirit as God moves through His leaders, and there's the learning of how to lead properly through the success and failure of the leaders.

If I can't obey my leader, how can I expect my follower to obey me. So if I am to lead by example, then I must learn to obey my leader before I expect my follower to obey me. Hence, if one wants to lead, one must first learn to follow (and obedience is key factor in a follower's life).

Past midnight rambling

I realised I haven't post anything for more than a wk.

So, hello....
Let me update u w/ my latest situation, I'm still jobless, ahahha... still trying to get a job. Don't know how long this will last, but I'm so not looking forward to be jobless for long. I'm gonna have to do something drastic soon, either sell my car or go back home to Jakarta. I'm considering to do both soon, but somehow I feel I can achieve more in here, not in jkt. God, please give me a job soon, please? Let it be your will that I shall get a job soon, I'm getting so very desperate.

Anyway, don't worry about me.
I thank God that I can still write something. That means I can use my fingers to type, I have internet at home, I have a laptop, I have electricity, I can see, I can think, I can feel and I am alive. And there's more, my parents are still alive, my siblings are alive and most of my friends are alive and hmm... what else can I thank God for?

Oh ya, my life-group is doing well. The guys are growing, the girls are also growing. I'm so blessed to be able to work with the other 2 female leaders in the group. Frankly speaking, the journey of my christian walk has not been easy at all, but looking back, I can surely tell you that I don't want to be where I was 5yrs ago. My life is definitely better today than last yr, 2yrs ago, 3 yrs ago and obvioulsy better than 5 or so years ago.

So many things I can thank God for at this moment.
Alright, why am I still awake at 2.35am? That's because I had a very very late dinner. I had dinner with JO, MK, CM and SW at Little HK at 11.55pm. Yep, midnight. When I got home, I felt so full and couldn't rest. Hence the reason why I'm still awake.

hmm... now I'm feeling sleepy. Okie dokie, good nite.
Btw, here's the song that's in my heart now. Though I can't really see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can still thank God that I am alive and He chose me to be His adopted child, that's enough for me.

Movie Talk - Madagascar 2

I love watching movie, all sorts of movies (but not so much on the horror ones).

Anyway, I watched Madagascar 2 last w/e with the guys in my group. I'm not gonna talk about the movie, rather I'll talk about what I've learned from that funny movie. It's so funny I can still giggle and laugh every time I remember few scenes from the movie that's just... ah... I don't know, you just have to watch it.

Alright, besides the funny scenes, there are few things I learned from that movie.
1. Fatherhood
2. Friendship
3. Love (friendship, opposite sex and family wise)

Of the 3 points above, I'll just touch briefly on the friendship side. There's this scene where Alex (the lion) hurt Martin (the zebra) when he said that he couldn't recognise Martin when he was surrounded by other zebras. The scene that touched my heart was when Alex apologised to Martin saying (somewhere along this line) sorry and how much he cherished their friendship all these times and that he wants him back.

A lot of times, be it knowingly and unknowingly (as iron sharpen iron), we would definitely step on each others' toe. But there's more to friendship than just having fun together, it goes beyond the good times, cause it also goes through the thin and thickest times one can have in life. It seeks to develop one another, lift one another up, celebrate each others' achievement, comfort one another during the down time, and gives the bigger piece of chocolate because he loves chocolate so much.

Man... truly I say this, I seek that kind of friendship, both with my christian and non-christian friends. With christian friends it may be easier, but with non-christians it may be a bit challenging. But despite the differences in our beliefs, I still want to build that kind of friendship with them. ah.... I hope I can grow in my relationship with all my friends to a new level.

A Father's Love

Andy sent this link from youtube about this father who went the extra mile for his son. hmm.... I don't know how to describe it, while watching it, I just lost it. I haven't cried for so long, and this clip touched my heart so much I wept straight away.

His love for his son enable him to do a lot of things, even pushing the boundaries of his own physical abilities on doing many things. Just to see the smile on his son's face, he goes all the way doing marathon and triathlon over and over and over again, with him.

ah... my understanding of God's love for me is really limited. This clip helps me understand a little bit better of God's love for me, sacrificing Jesus on the cross for me, and always willing to go all the way with me, carrying me through the most difficult time of my life.

The case of concern

I'm feeling quite funny at the moment, as in surprisingly awkwardly funny, in a good and positive sense, if you know what I mean.

OK, let me explain to you.
Just received a phone call from someone 15mins ago. Me and another friend are actually reaching out to him. Anyway, he knows my jobless situation. Not that I talked to him a lot (met him last month and only spoke to him 3 times), but when he called me just now, I was so surprise that he's been trying to find a job for me online, through 'seek.com'.

So when he called me, I was like 'WOW'.
He rang me and mentioned that he found few jobs at seek.com that I might be interested in and encourage me to apply.

He's a pre-believer (I'm starting to call non-believer as pre-believer) and the concern that he showed me just blew my mind away. I felt that God is using him to encourage me to continue to apply for job and not to lose heart.

Oh man... I praise God for the concern this guy showed to me.

The call to 'being relevant'

Alright, let me just shared this while I still have this at the back of my mind, ahahha....

Yesterday when driving someone back home, while talking to him I reminded myself again about my passion for my friends (non or pre-believers) to be saved. We were actually talking about something else, but I ended up sharing about my conviction to reach out to all my friends and the struggles I had (and many christians had as well).

Anyway, I believe as christians we need to learn to be relevant to non-christians. And for that to happen, we need to put the effort. By gaining information and if possible, experience the things that can help us to be relevant to them (not at the expense of our faith, or so long as it does not contradict the Word of God).

I found one of the main causes why many christians struggles in building friendship with non-believers is because they could not relate with them (non-believer), because they don't know what to talk about in casual setting/atmosphere. So when christians meet new people, they struggle to have a decent conversation, hence when their friends talk about something (say sport), they pretend to listen and pray hard in their heart for the conversation to end soon and find ways to share the Gospel. I am guilty as charged as well, many times I've done this.

Please note that there's nothing wrong to find ways so we can share the Gospel as quickly as possible. But be mindful that when do that, we might miss the point. Here's a point for you to ponder;

"How can a person listen to you when you don't even to listen to that person?"

Communication is always 2 way.
A good listener is someone who listens attentively and able to give feedback when/if required. One won't be able to give feedback if one does not know anything what-so-ever regarding the things that is required for feedback, and this is the part where christians need to be relevant by gaining information (and understanding as much as possible) about what's going on around them.

Knowing and understanding the things that go on around us can also help us to deliver the message of Salvation in a better way so it becomes is easier to understand for non-believer.

A challenge for leaders

I just came back from (we call it) leadership training, where we trained a couple of people to rise up to be leaders in the group, in particular leading discussion (the short term goal we want to achieve).

Tonight we talked about Paul's letter to the believers in Ephesus (Eph 6:4), where he wrote this particular message and addressed it to the fathers.

During the discussion, using the principle from that passage, the discussion leader mentioned how important it is for leader/s to spend time with their members (in our case, outside the normal church, life-group meeting time and shepherding), like going for dinner together after church or simply staying back after LG meeting to joke around. Spending time in casual manner.

He likened the relationship between a leader and members to a relationship between father and his children. If the father never spend time with his children, how can the children build the bonding and relate with their father.

I believe that leaders must endeavor to spend time with their members. Yes it's challenging, but it's part of the package of being a leader. To hear it coming from my member really encouraging as when he shared it, I could feel his sincere heart.

ah... it blesses my heart to see people rising up. And I need to rise up as well.

Where art thou O My Passion

Dunno how to say this correctly, but in the last couple of years, my QT (quiet-time) has not been that fantastic. Most of the times it's me who did the talking.

Before and during OC I felt the conviction to revisit the way I do things, including the way I do my QT. I realised that there things that I need to change ASAP if I really wanna experience God to the fullest, I need to stop talking and start listening. Not that I don't listen to God, but I need to really be still and quiet, so I can listen to Him, and this actually relates directly to my passion for Him, to have an open and healthy communication with Him.

Considering that my group will embark on a new journey of book discussion titled "Too Busy Not To Pray", what better time than now to make some changes in my own QT, aye. ehehhe... So yeah, I'm making some changes as to the way I'm doing my QT.

Here's a quote for you:
"Wanna move a house, call a removalist. Wanna move a mountain, call God"

But here's the thing, it takes more than just saying a prayer, it takes faith (accompanied by deeds) to have the mountain in your life be moved. Good nite. :)

Hello

Heilo....

been a while, hey.
First thing first, I'm still alive, so thank God for that, though there's so many things I need to sort out with God, my life that is.

Secondly, internet has been slow at home, so I can't really post anything since 2 wks ago, hence the reason why I haven't been posting anything.

Now that internet is back (the speed that is), I just want to say hello to you, ahhaha... so yeah, hello...

What's been happening with me? Well, I'm still jobless and yes, still believe that I will get a job soon. Other than that, I went to OC09 last w/e, it's in Philip Island Melb. Will post what I've learned there.

Okie dokie, will post lotsa things starting from tomorrow. Have a good rest tonight. Happy Sunday. :)

Here in your presence

Here in Your Presence - New Life Worship

Learning to praise God

There's so many things I'm learning at this period of time with my jobless situation. But 1 thing that is so challenging for me to do in all honesty is to praise God.

I know it may sound ridiculous, but it's just the truth.
As I'm writing this, I'm actually learning to praise God from the bottom of my heart in my current circumstances and in my brokenness. I am learning to praise Him in my prayer, declaring His goodness, praising Him for His awesomeness.

I have been praying so hard for Him to open the floodgate of heaven to bless me with a job as I am getting desperate day by day. But I realised that in my quiet-time, I never really praise Him. I did praise Him, but not really.

It's like this, when I just woke up I would speak in tongue and pray, "God, thank you for letting me live today and thank you for what you're about to do today." Then I would continue with my prayer list, it's almost like a routine where the words became almost meaningless.

But tonight I felt the need to praise God, simply for who He is. And while praising Him in my prayer, I felt the Holy Spirit asked me if I really mean it, and I said yes, I mean it. And He showed me my current situation and asked me again. Then I stopped and pondered upon it, and I said, "Yes, He is worthy of all praise, cause my praise to Him shouldn't be affected by my circumstances." After that intimate moment, I realised that I haven't been praising Him. I felt so discouraged looking at myself.

ah.... it's actually not easy to praise God when you sort of don't have anything to thank Him for, because we need reason to praise Him. But that's exactly what I'm learning right now, to praise Him even when I'm going through challenges, to praise simply for who He is. I am no God, I am His creation and He is the God, so I praise Him.

Rescue

You are the source of life
I can't be left behind
no one else will do
I will take hold of you

I need you Jesus to come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with Grace

This world has nothing for me
I will follow you

ah... I've been playing this song over and over again.

Nothing good is in me, even my own heart deceives me, and my thoughts lead me to destruction. So many times, no, all the time, I am helpless, I do not even know what to do. O God help me, rescue me, no one else can help me but you. Grab me and do not let me go. I do not need anything else, only you. I need you Jesus, come to my rescue.

A new look

I always want to cut my hair short.

So today I went to cut my hair. Trying to save money, I went to this very cheap chinese hair-dresser in the valley who couldn't even speak english properly. For men it's $9 while for woman it's $13.

So when it comes to my turn, I went inside and sat on the chair. She asked me how I want my hair to be cut, I said short and messy or spikey. She said, "OK. Which number?" Then I said 6 for the top and 4 for the side and back.

So she picked up the clip (which to me looked like number 4) and starting cutting the top part of my hair. To make sure that I really saw what I was seeing I opened my eyes so widely and lean forward towards the mirror. Yep, I saw what I saw. But there's nothing I can do.

So when you see me next time, please don't run away. I know I'll look like a terrorist or some guy who just came out of jail, but please stop and say hi to me.

On a brighter side of life, I found that touched my heart.

Free Upgrade

I don't know if it's just me or everyone gets it, Singapore Airlines emailed me yesterday saying that I will get a free upgrade on whichever flight I take with them between 1 April to 30 June. I was like, "WOW.... awesome."

But then again, I don't have any plan to go anywhere. hmm....
Come to think of it, I thought of my own life. I actually received the best free upgrade I could ever get in my life, and it is the 'salvation'.

Before I committed my life to Jesus, I was heading towards the eternal fire. In general, upgrade means the replacement of a product with a better quality product. With regards to eternal fire, anything but eternal fire is considered excellent, ahahha..... So it's not just an upgrade, it's something I can't gain myself.

But I want to you look at it from the perspective buying an economy seat, and instead of sitting at the economy seat (that tight small seat with almost no room for your arms and to stretch your leg and the very limited angle for you to recline your seat), you'll be seating at the business class (that much bigger seat where you can rest your arms without having to fight for space with the person next to you or in front of you to stretch your legs plus that special attention from the air-steward/ess who calls you by name with title Mr, Ms or Mrs). Then transfer it into the salvation, instead of going to hell (that eternal life fire), you go to heaven (that eternal life with God). And all I have to do is just to repent from my sins and accept Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. Cost: FREE.

And more than that, more than just going to heaven the moment I die, while I'm still alive, God promises that He will never leave me nor forsake me, that He has a plan for me, that He will carry me through the hurdles and pains in life, that His joy will be my strength and that He will help me, encourage and comfort me. So it's like a double free upgrade, if I can put it that way.

Man... what a bargain.