Thursday, January 29, 2009

Understanding Jesus' suffering

While preparing for the message I need to deliver to my group this Sat, I stumbled upon this pastor's article (who's also a doctor) about the pain and suffering that Jesus had to go through before He died (focusing on what happened to Him physically in His last 12hr).

Man... I'm trying to understand it, and to tell you the truth I still could not fully comprehend what He endured before and on the cross. ah... I don't know what to write. Here's the link to the article:

The crucifixion of Jesus


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tonight

OK, let me share what happened tonight, or rather, what I've learned tonight.

1. I went to the church PM tonight and had a wonderful time with God. I so needed that word of encouragement from God. Also a friend of mine who hardly come, made it to PM tonight. It bless my heart to see him there.

2. But what's more interesting is that I took a firm stance tonight when I confronted a friend regarding certain issue in his life. I didn't plan to do it but as he shared with me his ideas and stuff, I felt I had to just tell him that he needs to change his perspective and open his mind and heart. So I explain to him what he needs to change, why and how he can do it. Man... that was tough.

3. Driving back home, I listened to 96.5 focus on family (I think?). The announcer/broadcaster was interviewing this lady who suffered from depression. She said depression is not always about living life in negativity, because of the bad things happened in the past, but it can be about anything in this life that we can think of. I was like "Ooooooo... really?" ahahaha...

4. OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Guess what? Anyone can develop and suffer from this. this can also relates to depression. It can start from a habit. For e.g., before I go to bed, I would normally check if all doors at home are lock (especially the front door). Now, if I check the front door 2 or 3 times once in while to make sure that it's been locked, it's normal. But if I keep on checking the door 2 or 3 times every single night, and the occurence increasing gradually (checking the door 5 ot 6 times before I go to bed after 2 wks, then 8 times after 2 months), then I have a problem.

Now, here's what I think. I personally think that sin in particular bondage (a specific sin that we do regularly and hard to stop) is similar to OCD. It's because this particular sin has been developed over a long period of time, and it became a normal habit. Someone once said that to change a habit, one needs to double time to recover from that habit. E.g., if one has cultivate a habit of stealing over 5 years, to completely change the person not to steal will take 10yrs (taking into account education and regular review). I don't know if it's true, but I could see his point, because it's not easy to change someone's perspective. But I believe we can shorten the time with the help of God, because hey... nothing is impossible to Him.

So there you go, those are the lessons I learn tonight. You have a good rest, enjoy your day tomorrow. :)

Monday, January 26, 2009

Abortion

A good friend of mine sent me an email explaining briefly how abortion is being done. It's not that I don't wanna know about it, but it's just so OFF, it's so gross. Wanting to know more, I went to wikipedia. Man... I felt so sick after reading them. Sorry if you feel sick too, after reading these.

Here's her email:

The most common method used in the first 12 weeks (first trimester) of pregnancy is suction aspiration (suction). In this procedure, the cervix is forced open by inserting rods (dilators) of increasing size. A hollow tube with a knife-edged tip called a cannula, which is attached to a very powerful vacuum, is then inserted into the womb and the unborn child is sucked down the tube in pieces. If the head is too large it may be crushed in order to be removed. It is also very important to remove the placenta which is attached to the lining of the womb.

Another method used in the first trimester is the dilation and curettage (D&C). The cervix is dilated in the same way and a curette or scraping instrument is used to scrape the unborn child (in pieces) from the womb.

The dilation and evacuation (D&E) method is used after the 12th week as the unborn child is now much larger and his bones are harder. Small forceps are now used to dismember the body and crush the unborn child's head before removal.

The dilation and extraction (D&X or Partial-Birth) method of abortion is currently being used in Brisbane on unborn babies over 20 weeks. This method is particularly disturbing as some of these babies are of the same age being nurtured and cared for in premature wards. The cervix is now very widely dilated and the abortionist inserts forceps into the womb. Grabbing hold of one of the baby's legs, he/she then draws the unborn child from the birth canal until only the head is undelivered, therefore now partially born. He/she then stabs a sharp instrument into the base of the skull, inserts a suction apparatus and the contents of the skull are then sucked out. The deceased and limp baby is then 'evacuated' from the womb.

Here's a similar (if not the same) explanation I got from wikipedia:

In the first 12 weeks, suction-aspiration or vacuum abortion is the most common method.[9] Manual Vacuum aspiration (MVA) abortion consists of removing the fetus or embryo by suction using a manual syringe, while electric vacuum aspiration (EVA) abortion uses an electric pump. These techniques are comparable, and differ in the mechanism used to apply suction, how early in pregnancy they can be used, and whether cervical dilation is necessary. MVA, also known as "mini-suction" and "menstrual extraction", can be used in very early pregnancy, and does not require cervical dilation. Surgical techniques are sometimes referred to as 'Suction (or surgical) Termination Of Pregnancy' (STOP). From the 15th week until approximately the 26th, dilation and evacuation (D&E) is used. D&E consists of opening the cervix of the uterus and emptying it using surgical instruments and suction.

Dilation and curettage (D&C), the second most common method of abortion, is a standard gynecological procedure performed for a variety of reasons, including examination of the uterine lining for possible malignancy, investigation of abnormal bleeding, and abortion. Curettage refers to cleaning the walls of the uterus with a curette. The World Health Organization recommends this procedure, also called sharp curettage, only when MVA is unavailable.[10] The term D and C, or sometimes suction curette, is used as a euphemism for the first trimester abortion procedure, whichever the method used.

Other techniques must be used to induce abortion in the second trimester. Premature delivery can be induced with prostaglandin; this can be coupled with injecting the amniotic fluid with caustic solutions containing saline or urea. After the 16th week of gestation, abortions can be induced by intact dilation and extraction (IDX) (also called intrauterine cranial decompression), which requires surgical decompression of the fetus' head before evacuation. IDX is sometimes called "partial-birth abortion," which has been federally banned in the United States. A hysterotomy abortion is a procedure similar to a caesarean section, and is performed under general anesthesia because it is considered major abdominal surgery. It requires a smaller incision than a caesarean section and is used during later stages of pregnancy.[11]

From the 20th to 23rd week of gestation, an injection to stop the fetal heart can be used as the first phase of the surgical abortion procedure[12][13][14][15][16] to ensure that the fetus is not born alive.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Busy busy busy

I wrote this long time ago, that many times we got busy for God, but not with God.

A friend called not long ago sharing about the state of her relationship with God. She mentioned how she's been so busy doing all sorts of things for God in her church. Such a passionate sister. But she found that she started losing the grip, she started losing her focus. I can feel her pain, I was once there, when I was so busy doing things for God, but I wasn't busy with God at all.

The good thing is, she knows what to do and she's gonna start to get busy with God. So I was happy to hear that.

To me, it was like a timely reminder. I'm not busy at all right now, but even when I'm not busy, I need to keep the consistency to be busy with God. Man... I hope and pray that once I become busy (with work and ministry), I can still maintain my busyness with God.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The invisible wall

Caught up with an old friend in GC just the other night.

While sharing about our walk with God, he mentioned how sometimes he felt that people from his church have this wall built without even realising it. And because of that, sometimes he felt that he's an outcast, simply because of how they treated him.

In my heart, I replied to him, "no way, that can't be right. Christian wouldn't do that." ahaha.... how naive I was. While driving back to Bne, I asked myself if have ever done that to others, regardless of who they are, or where they're from.

Painfully I confess that I've done so many times. Few times without even realising it I ignored people around me. Though I had legitimate reason why I did it (because I was busy and so focus with whatever I was doing at that time), those people that I ignored felt the hurt of being ignored. I found out only a couple of weeks later when my leader told me.

ah.... Yes I'm not suppose to make everyone happy, cause I simply can't. But at the very least, I need to do my best not to ignore people and to value everyone's voice/opinion. Oh, help me Lord to change.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Feel like singing and dancing

I feel like singing and dancing. Here's a song I wanna share with you.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Being strategic

I have so many things to improve, change and fix this year. One of those things is to be strategic in whatever I do.

I've heard few pastors/preachers preached about this, but it just hit home end of last yr when I did my thinking and praying for this yr. We as christian need to change the way we do things. We need to be strategic in whatever we do without being constraint by our own plan plus limitations. In our daily life, we need to keep our vision all the time in our mind and work towards achieving that vision.

I'll share with you how I'm gonna do that;
1. Get a vision. In my case, taking ownership my church and LG vision.
2. Make plans
3. Work towards achieving that plan

Sounds easy? Yep, it's as easy as it sounds.
Here's an example. I made the church's vision to be my vision (capturing Matt 28:19). Then drilling down, I made my group's vision to be my vision (as it's more clearer, or easier to measure, Matt 28:19 in workplace/friends). Then after the leaders in my group broke the vision down into smaller goals, I made plan on how to achieve those goals, when and where.

Furthermore, I aligned my personal goals this yr to the church/LG vision, such as prayer life, friendship and other stuff. One area where I want to see myself grow in this year is in the area of prayer life and the Word of God.

Hence to achieve all that at the same time, I'm trying to keep the vision alive in my mind all the time and work towards achieving those smaller goals one at a time. Your question now is, where is the strategic part?

Before I continue on, let me remind you that there's 2 important part here, 1 is a very close relationship with God (discerning HS leading, in-tune with Him), and the second part is doing our part by knowing those things I listed above and putting them into practice/reality. At all times, being in-tuned to the HS leading is very important.

So here's how I do it.
In the morning, I would wake up and do my QT. In my QT, I already have my prayer list. In those list, there are friends (pre-believer) who I want to see saved this yr, hence I'd pray for them. But I'll always try to be specific in my prayer, meaning praying for a specific area that I want to see change. To do this, I need to find out more about my friend. Hence I'll get to know my friend better. So when I spend time with my friend, I'll do my best to find out more about them. More than that, when I speak to them, I'll try to put in few words of God to gage or to see how they take it in. In everything I do, I must be intentional, and still keeping that flexibility. The flexibility part is for HS to do His wonders. This is one area I want to grow in, being use by HS in a way never before I have experienced. But I need to be bold and courageous though, ahahha.....

So yeah, when I meet new people, I'd ask question like where are you from, what's your hobby, what do you do on the weekend, what do you do for a living and questions that can help me know their needs and how I can share the Gospel to them.

Now that was only a small part of it.
I have my shepherd, my unit leader, 4 of my sheeps, the guys in my groups and my friends to think and pray for. On top of that I have meetings to go to (church and LG related), movies to watch (at least 1 movie every 3 months), sports to do (must exercise at least once a month), and the many dinners and lunches plus activities to attend where I can meet more people.

Think about it. I'm not even a unit leader or holding a very significant role in the church or at workplace. If I'm not being strategic in whatever I'm doing, especially in reaching out to my friends, I won't be able to see salvation and grow spiritually at the same time, not to mention grow in my career. Every minutes I spend with people is precious.

Last yr I tried to be strategic (though not all the time), and it helped me alot. Instead of praying to God a general prayer for my friend, I prayed specific prayer. Instead of buying a general things for their bday, I bought specific things that they need. And instead of giving suggestions on how to deal with their problems/issues in life (only when they ask my opinion), I'd tell them what the root of the problem is and how they should deal with it.

I can so feel the urgency of seeing people being saved as soon as possible, cause I myself simply don't have much time in my hand. I wish I could be in so many places at the same time, but I can't. Hence I need to change the way I do things, I need to be strategic. And to do this, I need to spend more time with God (for guidance and directions), and with people (for opportunities to share and bless) as well.

So right now, if you don't have a vision, get to know your God, get to know your church, get to know yourself, and get to know your people or friends/colleagues/families. Make your church's vision, your vision and take ownership. Find out (make plans) how you can achieve it then work towards it. But don't work harder, work smarter.

Good nite.
:)
PS: Here's an old song from GMB I was listening (it's in indonesian though, direct translation of title is Chasing Your Presence, referring to God's presence)

Monday, January 19, 2009

Me, the control freak

It's amazing how my strength can also be one of my worst weaknesses, and I had just discovered it. Yep, after living my life so long till this very moment, ahahha...

While catching-up with a very good and close friend of mine, we stumbled upon the topic of being in control. To my surprise, he said that I'm one of those freaks. I was like "HAH." But after he mentioned few scenarios where I had the final say and made suggestions when it's not even required, I realised that I can be one of those people who always want to be in control.

He said that it's good to be in control (it's a skill/ability all leaders must develop when leading people. A leader's job is to cast vision/goals, and direct/lead people to achieve those vision/goals according to plan), but it can be very frustrating when all he wants from me is just to listen to him (without even giving him directions, or giving suggestions/ideas or even solutions to solve a problem).

So it's frustrating for him to come to me sharing his heart and have to listen to my ideas/solutions to solve problem, or on how to be a better, when all he needed was just an ear to listen to his story, so he could let things out of his heart. Man.... I was shocked. Am I really that bad?

ah... I guess this is one area I need to work on this year. Dunno about you, but to me it's really interesting to find that there's many things I don't even know about myself, so I have to discover myself. aahhahaa.... I like that, discover me. I should get to know myself more, ahahhaha.......

Here's one of my fav song from P.O.D

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Infectious

Not sure which term I should use, but I so want to be an infectious or contagious christian. ahahhaa... here's a song I'm listening right now.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

random

Alright, let me say it here, I am not your usual christian, let alone your usual leader. I drink drinks that contain alcohol occasionally (I prefer wine to beer) and I befriend and hang-out with lots of non-christian people. You may think I'm weird, but I reckon if a christian doesn't have non-christian friends, that's weird. How can then s/he preach the Gospel? Cause there's no one to preach the Gospel to, ahahhaa....

I know that I still have lots of things need to be changed, fixed and improved, but at the same time, I'm not gonna let my weaknesses stop/hinder me from becoming the person God had intended me to become.

Anyway, I wanna write about the issue of changes, ideas, perspective from different angles. I believe christians, especially leaders must be open to changes, or at least ideas. Confused? Here's a question,

"When was the last time you did something new for the first time in your life?"

Here's a spiritual question,

"The last time you shared the Gospel to someone, was it the same way as your first time (if you ever shared the Gospel to anyone)?"

Or how about this,

"Have you been proactive in finding out on how to improve the way things work around you, or even how to improve your spiritual growth?"

These are the questions leaders need to regularly ask themselves as they lead their people. Btw those people are not even their people, they're God's flocks, so the burden is even heavier theoretically.

It's funny how many christians believe that the best way to grow deeper in God is through reading the bible and prayer life. Guess what? It's not at all true. There are many ways to grow deeper in God, not just those 2.

How about those people in some remote places where there's no bible. Just because there's no bible they can't grow deeper in God? Well hello.... how stupid is it. And just by praying alone you can grow deeper in God? ahahha.... good luck my friend. Prayer alone is not enough, we need some action here. How can I pray to God asking for job and not applying for one at all, just sitting at home do nothing and wait for someone to give me the job of my dream. At the very least, I need to tell my friend that I'm looking for job and tell them the kinda job I want to have so they can get me one.

If you ask me how to grow deeper in God, there are many ways to grow in God, and I will tell you that studying the bible and prayer life are important, but they need to be accompanied by actions. The great commission from Jesus to His disciple was not to read the bible (correct me if I'm wrong), it's to go and make disciple of all nations. And He left it open to us as to how we can make disciple of all nations. There's not 1 way to preach the Gospel, there's billions of way, through you, through me, through many other christians in this world. And with that, there's also many ways to make disciple of all nations.

So if you're christians (especially if you're church leaders), let me encourage you to be more open to ideas and suggestions. The things we did in the past might not be applicable anymore in the present days. Visit different places, read the news (to know what's happening around you and around the world), talk to people, make new friends, look at the success and failures of others and learn from them.

So be open-minded, yet do not walk away from God's word or neglect the biblical principle.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

What a wonderful night

For the first time in this year, considering I just lost my job last wk, I felt so happy right now. Actually it's more than just happy, I don't know how to describe it, hahaha....

I tell you what happened today.
This afternoon I went to church at 12pm thinking the worship team rehearsal would start at 12.pm. I was 15mins late and waited at the church till 12.30pm. Then I was thinking, hmm... maybe I heard it wrong, maybe we're supposed to rehearse at 1pm. True enough I found some of the worship team people were at UDMM (meeting for leaders by group).

So at 1pm, we all gathered at church and had rehearsal. During rehearsal, it was pretty tough, cause not only it was warm (as in the weather inside the building, cause no aircon), but I completely forgotten the song I was supposed to lead, it's salvation is here. Torchie was there and I could see his disappointed face, and everyone's frustrated face as well. I don't know what happened, but during practice few days ago I remembered every thing.

Anyway, come to pre-service prayer meeting, dunno what happened, somehow I really miss the presence of God. I know it may sound stupid or doesn't make sense, but that's how I felt. I was overwhelmed by it that when I prayed and told God how much I miss Him, I just started crying. I cried so much that I almost forgot that I was on my knees at the front (on the stage so-to-speak). If people saw me weeping like that with so much tears flowing out of my eyes, man... that'll be one unpleasant sight. They might get worried, ahaha... So I quickly went to toilet and wiped-away the tears.

Then the amazing part took place.
All of a sudden, during praise and worship time, I remembered the lyrics, ahahaha.... I was so happy. ahahhaa.... I can't believe it. How could I forget everything (during rehearsal), and I just remembered everything again (during the actual praise and worship session). Praise God.

After church I went out for dinner with my new group. It was my first time having dinner with them, ah... I like them already, they're so funny, a bunch of interesting people. At that time, I was also thinking of my previous group (LG), I wish I could have dinner with them also. I miss them so much. I haven't really spoken with any of them properly since I came back from my melb trip. Oh well, I can always catch up with them one of these days.

So yeah, I'm really happy tonight.
Tomorrow is a whole new day. It might not be a good day for me, but 1 thing that I know is that my emotion should not dictate my life. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I hope that God will help me to stand strong, that even in the midst of trouble, I can still give praise to God. The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away. So let your will be done in my life O God.

Okie dokie, sleep tight.
Good night Father, good nite to you too. :)

Here's a song I was listening, similar to what I feel.

I don't get it

Yes, I just don't get it, dunno why.
I went to the cinema with Julie and Francis to watch 'The day the earth stood still'. The whole period of time I was trying to understand what the movie was about, and then all of a sudden the movie ended. I was like " W H A T ? "

ah... Julie and Francis tried to explain the story line, but I still don't get it. Somehow I just don't get it, and I'm pretty upset now. Can someone help me understand please? pweaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

It's so God

ahaha... yes, I never believe in coincidence or luck.

Today was my first day out-of-work. I went to see a recruitment agent at 1pm. I was 15mins late. The lady said that there's no work available as the market is pretty quiet. I told her it's fine (knowing that God will provide). After that she introduced me to one of her colleagues who's in charge of recruiting people for contract jobs. I told him straight that I'm not interested in contracts. Then he ended up talking about his honeymoon to France with his wife as they're just newly married (mid dec).

So after that I went to winter garden foodcourt to have lunch. There I saw a long lost friend having lunch all alone. I went to sit with him and we talked about so many things.

Come to think of it, if I were not 15mins late, and if the guy recruitment agent didn't talk so long about his honeymoon, I wouldn't have met my long lost friend, and I wouldn't have been able to hear so many interesting stories from him and got few ideas about reaching out to others, especially men.

It's just so God, the timing can't be any better than that. He shared with me so many ideas on how to reach out to people in general, especially locals, and most specifically men. Now I have few ideas, ahhaha.. thanks Filipe. The other thing that he mentioned is what happened to one of the members of Korn, the famous band from US, he converted to christianity in 2005. I was like 'WOW'. I was really encouraged to hear what happened to him. It blessed my day. So let me bless you with this guy's story.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A new season

Well, first of all let me say 'Happy New Year' to all of you.

It's been a while since I wrote down my life's story here. It's 2009, it's a new beginning. I can't wait to see and experience the power of God moving right before my eyes.

One way to see and experience the power of God moving in my life is by growing in my faith in Him, growing deeper in Him, in studying His Word and apply to my daily life. And now, I really have to put what I've learned into practice once again. I just lost my job this morning.

I really don't know what God has in-store for me this yr, but last month as I was thinking and praying for 2009, I did sense that I'll have to grow even more in my faith, though I didn't expect to lose my job on the second working day of the yr. So right now I have a choice, to be sad and discouraged for a little while (and wait for people to comfort me), or to take a time to sit-down and rethink of what I want to do next, then apply for job actively. I choose the second one.

Hence, it's truly a new beginning. A new LG (life-group, or cell-group or bible-study group), a new job (when I get one, ahhaha..), new colleagues/friends, and I guess, a new and better perspective on God and life. Man... so many things I want to do. O Lord, help me walk in your ways, and let your will be done now and forever more, amen.

It's a new season, it's new day.