growing in my giftings

I desire to have the gift of prophecy so I can help build God's body through the God's Word to equip, prepare, edify and encourage His church.

Hearing His voice is truly hard, especially to discern who should receive what when it comes to praying different people (in the case of praying for people who respond to altar call). 1 thing that I learn is that if I'm not sure, I don't say it.

It's interesting to note that when I received a word or a vision/picture for someone, it will be come clearer and clearer as I pray for the person or as I wait for a better vision or clearer word. Today I prayed for a friend and shared with her what I sensed God wanted to tell her, and praised God that she confirmed what I've shared by saying her heart desire and what she needs to do in the coming days.

ah... I want to be in tuned to God's voice, to the leading of Holy Spirit. To do that, I need to study His Word more and come to His presence so I can discern His voice better. Lord, help me to wake up earlier and so I can have a better devotional time with you.
:)

Awesome LG

Every friday night we have our weekly bible study meeting called Life-Group. I serve in this LG called Joseph 3 as one of the leaders (out of 3 and the only male leader).

Tonight was somewhat different as the group presented a gift to the 3 of us as a token of appreciation for what we've done for the group as leaders.

Personally, to me it was unnecessary and a bit too much. Frankly speaking I never expected them to appreciate us (at least me) for what we've done as leaders. They should appreciate God for letting us serve them as their leaders. But don't worry, I understand where they're coming from and what they're doing, ahaha....

Anyway, I was actually pretty shocked as I didn't expect them to do such thing and I silently (in my heart) thank God for allowing me to serve as one of their leaders. It's been not an easy ride so far as we actually don't have a real unit leader. But I truly thank God for letting me be part of their life thus far. Hence, it was such an awesome LG tonight.

ah... my prayer is for them to grow to be greater leader in the house of God. They said you only need 1 person to make a change, well I say, I need all the guys in my group to make a change to the world. 1 person is not enough, everyone must grow to be what God has designed them.

blind date

Tonight I was supposed to have blind date with a girl (from another church), but I managed to get my friend to come out as well, cause I'm not comfortable meeting up with a girl I don't know.

Anyway, turns out I've met the girl, just that I have bad memory about people's name. It was fun and the 3 of us talked about so many things, especially about our passion for God and His people. And here's the funny and interesting part. We ended the night with prayer, ahahha... and it's not just any prayer, I ended up prophesying over them. LOL

It's weird, ahahaha..... but yeah, ahahha... we prayed for one another and when it was my turn to pray, I just started prophesying over the 2 of them. I was really scared before I prayed because I don't wanna say the wrong thing and I did not know what to pray for. But it's pretty awesome as I got the confirmation after prayer from my friend when she said that one of her leaders said the same prayer some months ago about what God has in mind for her, the ministry she's gonna involve in. So I was like, cool.... So happy that God still uses me in that awkward moment of prayer, ahahha....

A visit to another church

After church service that ended at 6pm, I went to visit another church in the city. Actually it's not a church service, but it's a presentation by an indonesian church held at a presbyterian church in city about christianity in indonesia.

I should say that I haven't seen to many indonesian christian in one place, ahhaha... It was truly an eye opening visit. I thank God for my friend's friend who invited me to come. Not only I got to meet more indonesians, but also got to taste some very nice authentic indonesian cuisines, uh... I miss indonesian food.

The youth from the indonesian church sang some indonesian christian songs and showcased their ability in playing angklung, it was so beautiful. Straight away it came to my mind to ask my pastor to invite them to play in our church, maybe for our multicultural fiesta next year.

ah... I long to see my church getting more involve working together with other churches.

To be a leader, one must be a servant as well

I am serving as a leader of a small group of young working adult in my church. And in the company I am now working at, I am also required at times to use that authority as leader when requiring assistance or help from others of lower working level position.

Frankly speaking, I am still struggling to humble myself before people (especially in church/Life-Group). I am not like many leaders in my church where they are so humble and down to earth. The way it works in church and in my company is quite different. In my company I expect people to do what I want and deliver what is required of them, in a simple term, I have the right to be served. But in church or if I can kindly use the term the kingdom of heaven, as a leader I need to serve instead of being served.

And that's one of my struggle till this very moment, to continually humbling myself and serve my friends, and if possible without people noticing so that I won't have anyone complimenting the works I have done.

Tonight I cooked quite a beautiful food as dinner for the guys in the core team of my group (4 of them). As I have shared, I don't really like to serve people, so when I went shopping I was thinking if I should just cook noodles for them or something nice. Then I said to myself, I shouldn't think so much of the money I spent as I have never been in lack financially (that God always provide). So I cooked a nice seafood pasta.

Tonight, we actually had training for the people in timothy class (those we're training to join the core team in our group) to lead discussion. So after dinner, I quickly washed whatever I could before the discussion. And after discussion, I washed the rest of the plates and glasses.

I was so tempted after discussion to ask one of the guys to wash the rest of the dishes, but then I felt the holy spirit asking me to complete it and said, "Do you want to be a good example to them? You need to learn to serve as a leader. Since you already cooked dinner for them, why don't you complete your serving tonight by also washing everything?"

I was like, ah... *sighing*
Yes, then I remember an occasion where Jesus said that HE came not to be served, but to serve.

Strangely enough, I felt so satisfyingly awesome after washing all the dishes. How true it is, to be a leader, one must be a servant as well. In the kingdom of God, the only way up is down. When you humble yourself, then God will lift you up.

The reason I shared this with you is not so that you know I've done something great, in fact it's actually nothing, but just to say that I feel for you if you also have the same struggle as I do. But continue to learn to humble yourself. I'm still far from being such a humble person, let alone a humble leader. So I hope I can encourage you to continue to serve others.

Bad news

I received 2 news which I considered bad news within 24hrs.

Don't worry, nobody died. But it struck me pretty hard because it involves 2 of my friends. For the sake of sharing let's just say both of them are guys. 1 is a guy who found that God is not relevant to him (especially in his current life situation) and the other one found that he has no purpose in life.

The situations that they face are completely different, however they have similar if not the same spiritual issue, that is trusting God.

It saddened me because the guy number 1 say Albert, wants to leave church, and guy no 2, say Andreas wants suffered depression and wants to commit suicide. I haven't spoken to both of them for a very long time and to hear such news really saddened my heart. The moment I heard the news from another friend, I quickly asked myself, did I play a part in their life to lead them coming to such conclusions? in other words, have I done enough to help them grow in God? And sadly the answer is no.

ah... I don't know how to help them, but I will surely intercede and ask God to reveal to them His plan for their life. I don't want to lose my friends, not this way.

The case of satisfaction

In this life, everyone wants to be satisfied. So do I.

I'm not sure if you've heard of this phrase, but some said that the way to man's heart is through his stomach. I personally can say that it's quite true, as I can be quite irritated and restless when I'm hungry. After a good meal, I feel so satisfied.

I know that satisfaction comes through different avenues. But let's stick to food (solid food) considering it's one of the main and basic needs for human being (after water).

Ps Wilson shared yday at our church anniversary that Jesus was satisfied when he does the will of God (John 4:34). He got me thinking at that time. I'm very easy to satisfy. Man... if you want to satisfy me, give me a good food.

Then I asked myself, "Do I have the same passion as Jesus'? Will I be satisfied when I do God's will? Is it food that sustains me and give me satisfaction or is it God? Is doing God's will more important than food?"

I'm not talking about fasting food just to do God's will, to preach the Gospel to all nations till I die (from starvation), but I'm talking about priorities, what keeps me going.

ah... food can surely satisfy me, and that's because I have a hunger and longing for food. The question is, do I hunger and thirst for Him, to do His will, to see people saved and His Kingdom come in my lifetime. I am still far from it, I know I don't have such strong passion like my pastor or even most leaders in my church, but I hope God can help me increase my hunger and thirst for His will.